I can't say that the past 2 weeks have been the slowest. I graduated high school, got a second job which I fell in love with the instant I set foot in the Y, and I'm still trying to figure out how I'm paying for college. But things are changing and they're changing fast. Everything is flying by.
This week, God has honestly brought me some valuable wisdom. and it's only Tuesday. First let me describe my Monday. Monday wasn't exactly the day I had going for me. The morning started out fresh at 8 am in the YMCA gym. We had 45 rowdy kids and half of a gym, and it was raining so we couldn't go to the camp ground. We had a bunch of new kids and no structured schedule. The kids were running around and the counselors had a hard time coming up with good games for them. Later we were short-staffed so I stayed until 3, with no break. After that my bus was late to my stop as usual, so I had to call around asking for rides so that I wasn't late to my second job. I was dehydrated, and felt sick and scatter-brained. I got to my second job and thankfully my coworkers made the job fun, but later I realized that I didn't have a ride home, so I started to walk as usual, carrying most of my YMCA stuff. Frustrated and tired, I started asking God why I still didn't have a car. It would have made the entire day less stressful if I simply had some wheels that I could control. Last week I remember missing my bus that had come 5 minutes early, and I cried because I felt so dependent on everyone around me to get me where I need to go and so helpless because I felt that I didn't have what I needed. I was just fed up and started crying. And I felt like the tears were coming back on my walk home that night.
I began to feel drops of rain on my face, and thought "are you kidding me" as the rain began to hit the earth, first a sprinkle, then a heavy downpour. I put my hood up to avoid the rain, and frowned. I really started hating my life in that moment, readers. I'm not even going to lie. I actually wanted to yell at God and throw a tantrum right there on the side of the road, but I was too tired to even do that. I just walked and watched the rain pour on the empty street in front of me.
But I started thinking.
Why.
Not "Why does life suck right now" but "Why is rain so bad?"
Think about it. As kids, we LOVED the rain. I thought of people in other countries, like Kenya, The Phillipines, South America. I pictured them spreading their arms out and letting the water hit their face in delight.
God gave me a memory in that moment of all of the kids in Kenya. The ones with no shoes, no shirts, an empty water jug in their hand, smiling, laughing and running after our van as we drove away from the school. I pictured them running after the bus for miles, until they couldn't run anymore, and I remember watching them smile. I never saw a kid cry or get upset (except for one kid who had never seen white people before. He was scared of us). They were never discouraged. I pictured them playing in the rain in their driest season, giggling and laughing.
So I asked again. Why is rain so bad? What's wrong with letting the rain hit your face?
Yeah, you'll get a little wet. You'll get soaked in the moment, but you will dry, and that is a promise. You won't stay soaked forever. The rain will pass. So instead of sulking in the rain, crying at the rain, not understanding why the rain is there, why not embrace the rain? Why not choose to embrace the rain while it's there, even if you don't want it to be? The rain is needed in that moment. The grass and the trees need the rain.
Sometimes we need the rain.
So I threw my hood back, and let the rain hit my face. I even smiled some and decided to embrace it. Why not? Pouting won't help and neither will sulking and being depressed about it. It isn't like God is watching you struggle and sitting there clapping. He's doing His part. You're doing your part. Sometimes we just can't see the big picture. Maybe God knows why even though I don't fully understand. And that's going to have to be okay.
So Here's my anthem this week, God. Let me embrace you, and let me embrace the rain and run through the storm. Help me see the other end of the tunnel and pursue you the whole way instead of my desires. Let the "Whys" be asked with wholeheartedness and let my new job not only change myself, but let it change the people around me. Help them to see You in Me. Be the Anchor of my soul, a hope that's sure and steadfast.
And now here's a tidbit of my recent life:
By Far my most favorite picture from graduation. I love Hannah Jones and Theo so much.
Excuse my awkward family. I love them to the end.
Fun time touring Lee with Hazard. I think I'll like it. That being said, I'm officially announcing my college decision. I'm going to move to Cleveland, TN in The fall to attend Lee University until I decide to transfer for IHOPU, my dream school. At Lee I plan on majoring in sociology with a minor in music. The decision was quick, but firm. I'm going where he's leading me in the moment. For a long long time I thought it was IHOPU straight after high school. But after some time thinking and praying about it, I decided it would be wise to go here first. The fun times will begin soon :)
Just some bits from the Y camp last week. We take them swimming almost everyday and we go on field trips once a week. I can't explain how much I love going there every day. It's the most exhausting and testing job I've ever had, but at the end of the day, I'm in love with each of those kids, their silly and unique personalities, I love the other counselors, and I feel like I'm exactly where I belong.
A snap from last Wednesday night at Encounter. I was in tears listening to Tanner, a boy I was in school with, teach, and then I had the privilege to listen to testimonies of other friends and listen to my friend Brent lead worship as we prayed for each other. God kept his promise in using me to reach my school. I saw it all.
This job is challenging some days, even mundane, but they make it fun. S/O to my best friend and my old and new subway slaves for making work fun.
Have a good week friends. And remember- embrace the rain. :)
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