Don't Blink

Tonight on stage, in the middle of this choir performance, in the middle of all of these people, half of who I didn't know and will probably never see again, I blinked. The first semester of Senior year is over at the end of this week. This was my last Christmas choir concert, and I didn't want to be here. I didn't like choir anymore. I've had a really bad attitude about everything and it was obvious. I didn't even want to be in school. But I heard this voice on the inside that said, "Cherish this moment, because you're going to miss this."
It's true that I haven't had a good attitude about this year. Sometimes I catch myself acting like the typical person with a bad case of senioritis and I don't do the right thing, and I don't care, and I say the wrong things and do stupid things. I keep dreaming about leaving and moving to Kansas City, which isn't bad, but sometimes I walk into class and I've thrown my shades on and put life on autopilot while I take a nap, as if this year didn't apply to me and as if I had no purpose in coming to school. One morning I was complaining about how much I hated riding the school bus, and how I tried to avoid it at all costs, and my friend Hannah told me that riding the bus was a chance to witness to people, and coming to school was the same opportunity. I think about those words a lot. The hardest thing about this year has been staying awake.

I want to find reasons to do things instead of to not do things. What I'm saying is that I don't want to think "Oh, I'll never see these people again anyway so it doesn't matter." I want to find a reason to pray for that guy in the hallway who is on crutches because I'm leaving and might not see her again, or sit next to that girl that nobody likes because these moments are few.
Nowdays When I open my bible and pray, it's as if I'm taking a long, needed rest and drinking cool water from a familiar stream after running ten miles. The water and rest sustain me, but I need more of it more often in order to finish out this race strong. I don't want to barely make it through my last year of high school. I want to run.
 We have 5 more months to impact Oakland High school for Jesus.
We have 20 more weeks to be a light to people we probably won't see again.