That part of you on the Inside

Yesterday after school I was laying in bed and thinking to myself.

Things now are not how they were two months ago. Or six months ago.

During the summer we have so much free time (even while we can be busy). We have extra time to think, breathe, and without being in school every day on a schedule and routine and in classes learning something new, we tend to find ourselves. That person on the inside that really matters and that voice on the inside that isn't getting drowned out by everyone elses' words or by the things we face every day being in high school or being around the world.
High school stops shaping us for about two months.

And we have some free time to let other things shape us.

Like friends, family, and new experiences like trips.



For a while after entering back into school, I started forgetting myself after learning so much this summer.

I joined the raider team and I have other new classes.

Everything on top of everything is very time consuming.
But I thought to myself "Is any of this even who I am? Do I enjoy this? Or am I doing it for everyone's approval?"

I even questioned myself, "Where did I go? Where did that person who likes sitting outside in the fall leaves in the cooling sun with a jacket on reading a good book go?"
I thought "Where did the person who could be perfectly content doing something they enjoy because they enjoy it even if they're alone?"
Like sitting down and writing a song or playing an instrument.
Taking pictures.
Running around in the woods.

It's as if I lost myself for a little while trying to please others.
And in the mean time while letting everyone else shape me I lost sight of that childhood that I lose bit by bit every day.

But I found it again.

We're all at that point sometime or another.

And we can all find it again, though it may be a bit dusty.
Because it lives in your heart.