I remember at the Ramp the year before last Mrs. Blonda laying hands on me and praying after we got out of the fire tunnel. I'd gone through praying and singing "Make me a Voice" by Rick Pino, and I remember just feeling the presence of God all over the members of the Ramp that layed hands on us. They were radical and different, and it was like fire was rolling off of them, but after I got out, I wasn't laying on the floor. I wasn't shaking. I wasn't giggling or crying. I continued praying and pushed my thoughts aside- I hadn't expected to be doing any of that and I already knew that just because you weren't crying or anything didn't mean you didn't get anything- you didn't have to show emotion to know you got something. I knew I'd gotten something but I wondered what.

While Mrs. Blonda was praying for me, she laced her fingers in mine. I remember she layed hands on my ears and spoke into them prophecying the things of God some I could understand and some I couldn't. Knowing that the revelation of what she had prayed could be for now or ten years from now, I didn't allow the fact that I didn't know what she'd prayed about bother me.

Later on we spoke after returning back to Tennessee in church one Sunday after service. One of the told me that one of the things she got in prayer was that I needed to continue with my passion for music because it was so big on me. At the time I loved music and I played flute and would begin to play the bass guitar- but I didn't play anything that was dramatic or really used much like a piano or acoustic, but I told her that I would.

Here I sit a year and a half later and it's finally coming to me.




I don't know what I'm going to be when I grow up.

Really, I don't.

I don't know anything about business or accounting or media. Put a spread sheet in front of me and I'll color it.

I don't know anything about taxes or bills or credit scores or income.

I don't know anything about cosmetology or modeling.

I don't know anything about architecture or being a massage person or manager. If I tried managing a business it would probably die.

I probably can't cook, either.

I guess at 15 all of this is okay though. Not really- I'm expected to know what I'm gonna be when I graduate.


You know what? Maybe I do. I want to go to IHOPU. I strongly believe God is leading me to go there after I graduate high school. I'm going to keep praying on this of course.

For a moment I was a bit skeptical at this... seeing how our society runs today, I can't get a scholarship and reserve it. I have no idea how long I would stay at IHOP or if I would stay there long enough to come back and go to college at MTSU using the scholarships I can earn. I have a 3.7 GPA as of right now and I'm supposedly in the top 14th percentile in all of Oakland High School, and that's where the scholarships are. (If I could get in the 10 percent I could get major scholarships to places like Yale and Harvard supposedly) I could become a psychologist or something and earn thousands of dollars. Or I could go and not major in anything and be stuck working under some crappy manager at McDonalds.

But you know what?

God has a plan, and I wouldn't trade it for anything.

If he wanted me to play last chair piccolo in his kingdom, I would do it.
Because it's his plan and it's perfect.

And that good thing is that we enjoy his plan. Lots.

I've discovered that I really have a passion to sing.

I might not sound like Carrie Underwood but I love to do it.

I may not have taken choir. I might not be able to read voice music, but I can learn, I can sing my scales and I can sing to Jesus.

I also love to write.

Maybe I'm not as good as Stephenie Myer.

(Actually I'm better. Writing about God things would be so much more awesome than writing about Vampires. Ick.)

But I love it. I love doing it for God and I love doing it to convey a whole new meaning to the world we live in. Each poem and song is like a new life to society- there is no other piece like it, and it's to minister the word of God. It can do a lot.

Maybe I could be a singer, and instrument player and a writer at IHOPU.

I wouldn't trade it for anything else.

Even if it means not taking up the scholarships I earn with my 3.7 GPA.

I'll get a 5.0 in Heaven and I'll be provided for while I live on earth. Sounds good to me.


Right now, right here, I want to be a minister to the kids in Word and Spirit church. I wanna help teach them the things of God and be an example of how to live for him, and I also wanna help lead in their praise and worship- but most of all in doing this I want God to teach me how.

On Sunday when I was in there with Tamera and Brother Ken standing up in front of them leading worship, I felt so different than I did several months ago when I was in there. Back then I had stood up there scared and blushing and my voice kept cracking because I was scared to be up there.
But now there had been a change- and this time it was like the peace of God settled on me and i just worshipped my heart out soley for him and encouraged the other kids to do it too. And it was beautiful seeing them worship him in spirit and in truth at how young they are.

Standing up there worshiping God and helping teach them through the love of God his word, I felt like I was exactly where I needed to be...

It felt like I came home after months of being away.
But it was never like that before!
And it was also because back then I would rush into church and not hold my responsibilities the way they needed to be. Those months ago I was fighting with a lot of emotions. But ever since I cast them off and got the peace of God and started applying it to my life there was a change in the way I pray, in the things I receive from God, and how I minister to others.

And now I can follow his plan.

Life. [Just throwing some stuff in.]

Today I went back to school after a week of spring break. It's so refreshing getting to see everyone again (another week would have been nice, lol. But I felt the need to see my mission field again.)
Sometimes I look at my school like my mission field. And at this time and age, it is. When missionaries are traveling or in a country for a period of time or even just going where they go each day, it makes them feel good, because it's what they enjoy doing and how they enjoy ministering the word of God the way they do and following his plan.

Well, for me my high school campus is like my mission field.

I love going there and seeing everyone (even though an occasional break would be nice, haha.) I love seeing the people there and just loving them and helping them in any way I can. I love cheering up people who seem lost and depressed and being an example of the life God has for them. Even communicating with people at school is what I love, even if it's just a smile and a " Good morning," or "Hey what's up? How is your day going?" because I want to show them care even if we're not best friends or anything. And though I'm not talking directly about God it's like I'm ministering love to them. It's beautiful and every day I'm up just ready to run onto my campus and shine the light of God.

Sometimes it does get tiring. If I don't spend enough time with God or in the word, in the bible and in prayer it gets draining. I'll even get a bit irritable or tired or I'll be tense and in a rush. But if I'm taking my time in God's word and in doing what I need to do and communicating with him all the time, it's like he's filling me up with his love and the words to say and the decisions to make and I take that step of faith. It's so awesome!!!


Today I was able to spend a longer period of time with God and in worship before school this morning, then Chelsea picked me up since we haven't gotten a chance to talk in a while. My classes were alright. It's a bit dull having to get back to work again and prepare for End of Course tests but oh well, it's school...
One quote we wrote about in JROTC sparked my interest this morning.
The quote was
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
We discussed this for a bit and wrote about it. I found it interesting and something I've got to remind myself of from time to time.

I dropped my phone in the toilet last night and quickly got it out. The toilet was clean but I used Lysol wipes anyway. Luckily it still works but this morning it was spazzing and went off in my first period... REALLY embaressing...

Anyway that's all I've got. :) Hope everyone is having a great day.

Here you are down on your knees again...
trying to find air to breathe again.
And only surrender will help you now
the flood-gates are breaking,
they're pouring out...

[Again- Flyleaf]
[ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pp5XbvbHAmg ]






The lights were dimmed and not only the sounds of instruments coming out of speakers could be heard, but here, tonight, the atmosphere was different than ever before. Here, in God's beautiful presence, there was the familiarity of the place we stood in as we were with people of our generation, lifting the name of God and giving our hearts, but there had been a change. We had expanded. New faces filled the place. New hands lifted into the air and a new declaration of what their young mouths brought fourth filled this place. It was God's presence... and it was bigger and better than ever before.
Perhaps they hadn't expected such an encounter as this with God at a youth-group lock-in, but we had one.
And it was awesome.


Sometime in worship, I was praying in the spirit and after acknowledging the difference in this new place of worship our youth group had entered, I heard his voice whisper into my ear.


Look around you, Hannah

With my hands raised, worshipping his name, I opened my eyes and looked around myself.


It was On Fire Youth

Worshipping God in a new way

with new friends at their side

worshipping with them

ackowledging that this was a place of God and that this was different.
That this was his presence...
and stepping right into it.


The youth group that stood around with their arms crossed.

The teenagers that sat around in the presence of God not even seeming to acknowledge that this is the genuine presence of God and this is who we are
looked so much different tonight.

And in one phrase, he whispered inside my spirit again,

This is your generation.

And in another moment he whispered...

Do you remember asking for that?


And it was in that moment the revelation of the deeper plans God had for our generation sprung fourth within the depths of my spirit.

The realization of the significance of preparing the way in prayer
to bring fourth the most beautiful sight such as this.

Some of them were young.

Perhaps some of them didn't even fully understand what they were doing.

But they knew it was important.

And willingly and obediently, they jumped right in with the flow.

And a new life in the spirit was brought fourth.





In that moment I was brought back to my past. I remembered when I would lose air and begin panicking. The nights I cried into my pillow wondering if I would ever know what it's really like to be loved by someone so dearly. To be close to something real. I remember crying out to God...

and he heard me...

and he answered me.

He rescued me from the darkness I was in and breathed into me a life I would have never imagined.

And still to this day when I'm on the floor crying out to God to breathe life and fire into our generation and onto our youth group and city and praying for those people- people my age suffering the same darkness I once with-held,

He answers me.

And he's faithful to the end.

Stepping forward.

I've learned recently that at times God shows us these big visions. Whenever he shows me these big things I usually get so excited that I'm ready to explode and do whatever I have to do in order to go for it.

The truth is to every process, there are steps, and to shift toward the awakening and revival in my generation and that is soon to spread throughout my city and school, I've got to take little steps.


Small steps are always first.



And when they start feeling heavy and burdensome, I can't do what, at times, I tend to do with things I've got to accomplish- we can't just add it to our list of stresses and worries. We have to get into the presence of God and in that high place of prayer and talk to him about it. This isn't his God's view of Days of our Lives- He wants to communicate with us, not watch us for entertainment while we're stressing and pressing. If we're willing to communicate with him, he'll be more than glad to talk to us.
"God, what do YOU want me to do with this situation? What can I do that will better effect the work of YOUR kingdom and show people your glory and be that example in every step I take?" Believe me, he'll tell you. If you can't hear him then that isn't him not talking- it's you not listening. There is no one-sided relationship with God as long as you know how to listen.

Another things in taking steps toward the works of God's kingdom and what he wants us to do is the one word nobody gives the look of a kid in a candy store to hear-
Obedience.

"Oh, obedience is easy! I can do that!"

Alright, God says that he wants you to not take the promotion your job offered you today. Still easy?

God's gonna tell us to do stuff we don't like but it's our choice whether or not we obey him. He told Abraham to go kill his son on a mountain by stabbing him. You think he skipped at the chance to do that? Heck no. He was scared, probably concerned, but his love for the Lord exceeded that and he obeyed.

What happened when he obeyed?

An Angel came and stopped him and gave Abraham a lamb to take his son's place as a sacrifice [Of course now that we're under the New Testament, or New covenant we won't be using animals anymore, but instead things in our lives.]


Truth is sometimes he'll ask us to do stuff we don't like and when we decide to do it, it opens up a new pathway and gives us a revelation of what we need to continue to do in the future in taking these steps.

Sometimes he'll tell us to do something and it's like we magnify it into this thing that we see as too big to take on.
It doesn't have to be hard! God's word says that he's not gonna give us something we can't carry. As long as we're looking at that task from the mountain top, it's gonna be easy! If you stick in the presence of God and listen to his voice and obey, then it's not going to become a big problem. You'll be like "Dang, that was fast, what's next?"


The first step doesn't have to be a huge step.

Revival is coming.
Actually, revival is here.

But for it to reach my school I don't have to have a full blown-out prayer holy ghost meeting there tomorrow.

However, awakening is springing fourth, so it's coming.

It's like a geyser beneath our city and beneath our schools.

And it's coming on fast.



Maybe it's tiny compared to the entire state of Tennessee.

And the United States of America.

And the world...


but that tiny step tends to cause a ripple effect.

And it's bound to shake the heavens and the earth.

"Oh, I don't have to fear anything...
Because your love makes it worth it all.
And I can so willingly
lay everything down at your feet because,
your love makes it worth it all."




Sometimes we get so tied up in life that we forget the foundation of what makes us who we are. We forget that it's the Love of God that started it all and that his love will also finish it. It's through his love alone that we exist and through his love alone that we live right. If we aren't solely depending on his commands and his love then we will be out of place, and it's the truth. It's that small shift inside that whispers to us "Something isn't right..." or "Something is out of place, but what?"

The more of us we give to him, the more of him he gives to us. If we want God to fully reveal himself to us and continue to do it every day we walk in him on this path, then we've got to give him ourselves, too. He's a jealous God, and it so happens that we are jealous people. Not the sin jealousy, but the desire. Deep down we want all of God, but so many things that aren't God have worked their way through in us as temporary, fake replacements.
Momentary pleasure.
"This will work."

He will not reveal himself more until we've given him more of us. We can't be afraid to go deeper into the eyes of love.

Sometimes people even face contemplation of "Do I really want to be that close to God? Am I willing to give up everything in my life to have a real love encounter with him?"

Sometimes, even for intercessors that have found themselves out of their places, they get scared. They start to wonder if they really want to go deeper into the presence of God, because they remembered the last time they got in God's face they were on the floor for hours and for two weeks they spent a lot of time with God every day, and then after a while they grew comfortable.

Is this a generation that is willing to get rid of what is "comfortable" in order to seek the face of God and see more of him in our lives and in our cities, schools and nations?

Passion and Hunger work together. The hunger for something is what sparks passion, and passion and hunger drive us forward on this path he's leading us on. Without the hunger for him and without the passion to seek his face, we slow down and eventually stop. And that is where we are comfortable.

Just how important is he to each of us? How passionate are we for the things of him?

Ask yourself.

Love and Innocence.

Why are children so innocent?
We see the things they do, such as a little boy falling and hurting his knee and crying out for his mother, or a little girl running outside in the sun picking flowers and coming home and handing them to her father as a gift. Older people look at this and say “Oh, that's just adorable.” But when that child grows a bit older, it is viewed as immature and socially unacceptable because that child hasn't “grown” and “hasn't learned the harsh pains of the world”.

It's the corruptiveness of the everyday things we face that pervert who we are. Most people see the word “perverted” as having to do with sexual comments and gestures. They see that the word “purity” means remaining sexually unactive. But really ,anything perverse is something that corrupts innocence and purity. We lose child-like innocence through being corrupted by knowledge, which can be both good and bad. Children are considered naïve and oblivious because they haven't been corrupted by the knowledge of the real world yet. They don't understand depression and stress. They live in a world full of color, imagination, and most of all, beauty... because true purity is beautiful.

Purity is restored through the love of God and his presence.

God didn't create out bodies to carry depression and stress. He didn't create us to be corrupted. The innocence we all once obtained and lost is restored through his presence.
Why does love feel good and pain hurt?
Because he created us for love- most of all for his love, which is the first love. If you haven't experienced the love of God, then you have no revelation of love whatsoever. And so many people don't have a true revelation of the love of God yet. He didn't create us to be hurt, and he doesn't hurt us because of how much he loves us. He didn't create us to carry the burden of depression- that is what we hand over to him.
We so often hear that “the blood of Jesus washed our sins away and made us white as snow.” What does this even mean? The white as snow represents purity and cleanliness. He came and washed away our sins, and mistakes- the spots that are dirty and corrupted in our hearts and minds are renewed; washed clean and spotless. And we are always welcome into his presence to come for more of him.
The beauty of being spiritually pure is love.
The beauty we see in him and his creation is love.
The appreciation of the life he gave us is love...
and if you've ever doubted love, look at the cross... and you will never forget what love looks like.

The look in his eyes as he looks down on you from above is the true definition of love.

Good morning Baltimore...

So my title has nothing to do with my post. I don't really have much better to do on a Thursday night before Spring break other than talk about what I plan on doing with a week of no school.

I feel like skipping different classes tomorrow... I'll like show up for 1st period because it's band. 2nd because it's ROTC and it's fun. 3rd because I might get food. 4th I'll magically disappear into the depths of the school because everything about Algebra is evil... 5th I may go to because I like English and the rest of the day I'll leave. [Nah, that would be nice but I'm not a skipper...]


Things have been super stressful. Not now with Drill and ACI's over finally and with testing and junk minimized but before I was struggling... not as bad as the beginning of the school year when I was being overwhelmed [not really beginning, probably Octoberish.] But still...

I feel like I haven't gotten to send face time with Jesus in AGES. Yes, I wake up a bit earlier in the morning before school and pray but that time was shortening this past week up until this morning and every night I'm doing something and have to wake up early the next day so it's like I get a little bed-time prayer in and a scripture or two and I have t go to bed or else the next day I'll fall asleep in class. I just want more of his presence, like the times of refreshing in Acts 3 I believe. I think this Spring Break not only will I get a chance to chill, relax and clean but I'll have more time to spend getting refreshed in God's presence to face the next few months. The hardest part is just balancing it all out. Bootcamp season is ending the week after next so with that things should get lighter and I should have much more time to study, sleep and pray. I just need to learn how to not get like this...

Wednesday night was FANTASTIC! :D I was SO excited to see our youth group really worshiping even if it was for only like ten or fifteen minutes. The other week it was so dead in there that I almost cried at the sight of it. Everyone had been standing around with their arms crossed or sitting in the chairs or talking or being obnoxious, but last night was totally opposite- everyone was actually up and dancing around a bit and singing, it was exciting. I also love that our youth group is growing, too and with the lock-in next Friday more people are bound to get involved. :)

I'm going to need to spend time praying about that Oneway event at Oakland too and getting that together... It's not a whole lot but it still seems a bit rough.

I can't wait until Onething either. The people from International House of Prayer are like my family almost, lol. It's just a difference in them and I love listening to their guest speakers and having prayer meetings/worship services and such with them. I'm really looking forward to going to IHOPU after I graduate... but that's another thing I'm adding to my prayer list for spring break.

Let's see... other than God-time I'm going to need to clean up my room and interchange my spring and winter wardrobe. Not completely though. Tennessee is bi-polar. I'm gonna catch up on sleep and hopefully I'll get to hang out with people from school sometime and I'm going to read Prince Caspian and finish it and maybe a few other books. I'd also like to make a new playlist because I have a buttload of new songs to add.

I'd also like to see Bruce sometime before Spring Break is over. I haven't seen him or gotten to pray with him in almost two weeks.

I'm going to have to write, too. A lot. I want to just start writing like a short story or something because it's grown within me for the past 3 months.



I guess that's about it...

There's so many things coming up soon... especially in April... it smells like a month of refreshing... and revival. :)
It's the month where God pours out his rain. :D


Good night.