Come thou fount of every blessing
Tune my heart to sing thy grace
Streams of mercy never ceasing
Call for songs of loudest praise
Teach me some melodious sonnet
Sung by flaming tongues above
Praise his name I'm fixed upon it
Name of God's redeeming love
O to grace how great a debtor
daily I'm constrained to be
Let thy goodness like a fetter,
bind my wandering heart to thee
Prone to wander Lord I feel it,
prone to leave the God I love
Here's my heart, O take and seal it,
seal it for thy courts above
Here's my heart, O take and seal it, seal it for thy courts above.
Sunday, November 25, 2012
There's this hill out toward the Kittrell area, where I used to live. I remember being a little kid and going to play on the school play ground, and when I would swing on the swingset I'd close my eyes and pretend I was flying, and then I would open my eyes and see the familiar hill, (I thought it was a mountain, of course) not too far off, but far enough to where I would see it and know that an adventure to this giant hill awaits. And ever since then I've wanted to climb it. I've never climbed a mountain. And I know it isn't a mountain, but maybe it's big enough to where I can pretend like it's a mountain. I don't even know who it belongs to, but maybe if I ask they will let me climb their giant hill. There's a small patch of trees on the top of it, but the rest of it is just grass and I've longed to just stand at the top of it and see what the world looks like. I've wanted to do this for so many years, but every year goes by and I don't seem to have a way to get there. I used to ride by and look for a path to climb it, and one day I found one. It's so easy. The opportunity is right there...
I suppose what I'm really waiting for is someone to share it with.
And so that's what I pray for my birthday this year.
A friend or two to go on a journey with
no matter who
so we can just climb this random hill
and forget about everything else for a little while.
I suppose what I'm really waiting for is someone to share it with.
And so that's what I pray for my birthday this year.
A friend or two to go on a journey with
no matter who
so we can just climb this random hill
and forget about everything else for a little while.
Friday, November 23, 2012
Giving praises of thanksgiving...
How we post on Instagram:
How we are in real life:
For
starters, I want to say that Matthew seriously has no idea how proud of
him I am. He has come a long way. I know he's turning 13 in just a
couple of weeks, but seriously. I remember when he used to poop his
pants. It's so weird looking at him now and not seeing him as I saw him
when he was 7, with his big ears and small head and obsession with video
games (he never lost that). I pray that he yields his heart to God
more over these next years. It's weird sometimes because looking at him
and how he sort of shadows me is like a reflection of myself and how I
would shadow Billy. I feel like I see similar changes happening in him
that happened to me although we're different people. I hope he
encounters God in ways he could never imagine. He needs it more than
anything. He's going through a lot right now. Him and Emily (who I am
also proud of) and my sister both. I pray for them often and pray that
things get better.
Even
with circumstances as they are, yesterday made for a great holiday.
Everyone cleaned, waited/helped cook, set the food out, ate, put the
Lorax on and fell asleep, had a tickle fight and laughed. My family
isn't really like most families, but that's okay. God put me here for a
reason, and everyone is different. I wouldn't want to have anyone else.
Sitting at the table yesterday I felt like I realized that I was sitting
with my best friends. Although I have built many friendships over the
years, no one can replace my family no matter what, because they have
always been there and we've seen eachother at our worst and best.
Nothing is perfect in our family and that's quite alright with me.
How mom acts in the kitchen as she listens to 80's music while cooking:
How Matt and Emily constantly play in the fireplace then act like they weren't:
Clearly this turkey was too sexy for a picture, but I got one anyway before Matt grabbed it.
A perfect picture of how we commonly treat eachother:
Random old picture I found of Matthew and I on Myspace...
Thank you Jesus for an awesome break and an awesome holiday season to come.
Love Hannah
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
Keep Calm and Keep Seeking.
Valley Song Lyrics
You have led me to the sadness
I have carried this pain
On a back bruised, nearly broken
I'm crying out to you
I will sing of Your mercy
That leads me through valleys of sorrow
To rivers of joy
When death like a Gypsy
Comes to steal what I love
I will still look to the heavens
I will still seek your face
But I fear you aren't listening
Because there are no words
Just the stillness and the hunger
For a faith that assures
Alleluia, alleluia
Alleluia, alleluia
While we wait for rescue
With our eyes tightly shut
Face to the ground using our hands
To cover the fatal cut
And though the pain is an ocean
Tossing us around, around, around
You have calmed greater waters
Higher mountains have come down
Alleluia, alleluia
Alleluia, alleluia
Oh, Lord sing of Your mercy,
Mercy
Your mercy...
That leads me through valleys of sorrow
To rivers of joy
When death like a Gypsy
Comes to steal what I love
I will still look to the heavens
I will still seek your face
But I fear you aren't listening
Because there are no words
Just the stillness and the hunger
For a faith that assures
Alleluia, alleluia
Alleluia, alleluia
While we wait for rescue
With our eyes tightly shut
Face to the ground using our hands
To cover the fatal cut
And though the pain is an ocean
Tossing us around, around, around
You have calmed greater waters
Higher mountains have come down
Alleluia, alleluia
Alleluia, alleluia
Oh, Lord sing of Your mercy,
Mercy
Your mercy...
It's been a day full of asking questions. Lots of questions and wanting lots of answers. A day with a hurt heart when I remember how things used to be and asking why they aren't the same. But the answer is just patience.
The answer is seeking him instead of seeking the solution to every problem.
The answer is singing praises even when you're in the valley so that he can bring you to the rivers of joy...
"Hear, O Lord! When I cry with my voice! Have mercy also upon me and answer me.
When you said,
"Seek my face,"
My heart said to you
"Your face, Lord, I will seek."
-Psalm 27:7-8
"Awake, my glory!
Awake, lute and harp!
I will awaken the dawn."
-Psalm 57:8
Thursday, November 15, 2012
On Fire Youth, from then until now.
From 2008 until now, here's the journey of OFY.
Year 1, back in the Barfield Gym.
First youth retreat to The Ramp in winter of 2008. Changed my life.
Radical worship.
Awesome prayer meetings. Getting set free.
Some scavenger hunt pictures :)
We built the church building in October of '09.
Great rides on the trailer hitch :)
Trying to figure out who has bigger muscles(?)
My Hannie before she decided to run off to Lee. ;)
Unloading the truck to prepare for an awesome week.
Katie and I :) (Left is Youth camp '11... right is last week)
Monday night I realized how much I needed to get back in sync with my prayer life and with re-connecting my heart to our church.
Here's my honest heart.
I've been frustrated with our youth group for the past four years
When I first came to youth I thought it was the coolest thing since sliced bread. I remember everyone and everything- there was about 20 of us, and I remember how we all generally got along and would have these worship nights where we would be in the church office until 2 in the morning. It was the biggest revival in such a small youth group. I remember when I first came, scarred and broken and hurt from being bullied, they pulled me in with an open heart and open arms. It was the love of Christ- a love I had encountered as a child in worship, but not through people, and it changed my heart forever. After we moved into the new building, not only did half of the youth group leave because they either graduated, got bored and left or became an adult, but it's almost like we lost that fire along with those people... we really had a rough spot because of the change. Things generally stayed the same until we went through a ton of changes this past year within the our church, like the new worship team, small groups, the youth group splitting middle and high school, the overflowing of kids classrooms and the rapid growth of our church. Now that the kids classes have over-flowed we're all in the church office again.
It would frustrate me at times because everyone in the high school group seemed so bored, like everyone was just there out of routine. It made me want to go sit in the middle school class because seemed to have more fun than we did. I had to sit down and talk to Jesus about it. I was like "God, why does everyone seem so bored? What changed? Why did we lose our fire?"
Instead of answering me in one word, I felt him just showing me. When I started to pray about the season, it's like he flooded my heart with light and gave me a hope and a faith that things are going to change and keep changing forever. This boredom and frustration was just a small part of a small season that is over now. But things will always change. Things are going to turn upside-down after this winter season. I already know it. Not just because we're going to the Ramp for the hundreth time. But we have a new group that's had its changes, and we're hungry for more of God's love. Things aren't like they used to be. The rough season is over and the fog is beginning to clear. Whatever God has in store for us this season, I pray that it sheds a light brighter than we can comprehend. I pray that we tap into things that will change our hearts forever- not just as a group, but individually.
God is good and things are going to be shaken this season- through the Christmas program, the new activities, and the retreat.
He makes all things new and beautiful. I believe it with all my heart....
Thank you for your prayers and views. Have a blessed week. He loves you.
Serving him; Love always
Hannah Noelle
Year 1, back in the Barfield Gym.
First youth retreat to The Ramp in winter of 2008. Changed my life.
Group picture ^
This one made me laugh :)
When I opened up my heart, he started speaking to me.
The days we'd just lay out in the floor and pray as one.
Youth camp 2009
This guy has no clue how much I miss him.
(skipping a few trips)
Youth camp 2011
Late nights worshiping and listening to the word
(More skipping)
Ramp group for 2011-2012
More skipping...
Monday night I realized how much I needed to get back in sync with my prayer life and with re-connecting my heart to our church.
Here's my honest heart.
I've been frustrated with our youth group for the past four years
When I first came to youth I thought it was the coolest thing since sliced bread. I remember everyone and everything- there was about 20 of us, and I remember how we all generally got along and would have these worship nights where we would be in the church office until 2 in the morning. It was the biggest revival in such a small youth group. I remember when I first came, scarred and broken and hurt from being bullied, they pulled me in with an open heart and open arms. It was the love of Christ- a love I had encountered as a child in worship, but not through people, and it changed my heart forever. After we moved into the new building, not only did half of the youth group leave because they either graduated, got bored and left or became an adult, but it's almost like we lost that fire along with those people... we really had a rough spot because of the change. Things generally stayed the same until we went through a ton of changes this past year within the our church, like the new worship team, small groups, the youth group splitting middle and high school, the overflowing of kids classrooms and the rapid growth of our church. Now that the kids classes have over-flowed we're all in the church office again.
It would frustrate me at times because everyone in the high school group seemed so bored, like everyone was just there out of routine. It made me want to go sit in the middle school class because seemed to have more fun than we did. I had to sit down and talk to Jesus about it. I was like "God, why does everyone seem so bored? What changed? Why did we lose our fire?"
Instead of answering me in one word, I felt him just showing me. When I started to pray about the season, it's like he flooded my heart with light and gave me a hope and a faith that things are going to change and keep changing forever. This boredom and frustration was just a small part of a small season that is over now. But things will always change. Things are going to turn upside-down after this winter season. I already know it. Not just because we're going to the Ramp for the hundreth time. But we have a new group that's had its changes, and we're hungry for more of God's love. Things aren't like they used to be. The rough season is over and the fog is beginning to clear. Whatever God has in store for us this season, I pray that it sheds a light brighter than we can comprehend. I pray that we tap into things that will change our hearts forever- not just as a group, but individually.
God is good and things are going to be shaken this season- through the Christmas program, the new activities, and the retreat.
He makes all things new and beautiful. I believe it with all my heart....
Thank you for your prayers and views. Have a blessed week. He loves you.
Serving him; Love always
Hannah Noelle
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
Embracing what he's put in our path.
So here comes the winter season. Still getting used to the cold weather. Remembering what's important in the middle of a busy week. Remembering to always put God first and embrace who he as put in my pathway.
Firstly, I want to start by writing about how crucially awesome God is. Our small church was built four years ago on the side of Shelbyville highway after eleven years of taking refuge in Barfield Elementary school. We had a big fat piece of land next to the land we built on, and the man who owns the land promised to sell it to us for $220,000. As our church of about 150 fervently prays for a while and continues to pay off our current building, bills, and other activities within the church, this guy suddenly drops the price by $70,000. HOLY POO. That's like, a $70,000 offering. And he says he'll sell it to us for $150,000 so long as we get it together within a month. THAT'S POCKET CHANGE. We've got this. God is seriously awesome!
We're going to buy the land and expand the church...
This is... well, change!
To be completely honest, It was scary watching everything change. Although it was cool and a huge blessing, it was really uncomfortable, but then this past year our church went under a serious revolution of change as far as routine, getting the worship team together, splitting up the kid groups and the middle and high schoolers and adding small groups and digging into new topics... it seriously rocked. Because of that time of what we'd call "pruning" our church body went through some seriously needed growth and it brought us to an awesome place. And now with some new buildings at our finger-tips and an expansion bigger than we can even imagine, things are really going to flourish and change within the next few years. I don't know how it will look, but God knows and has it all planned. It's going to be great.
The Slab was good this morning- the ride with Emily H. and her awesome jeep, the teaching by Emily D. (who really hates pennies) and getting to listen to everyone else in the group share. We're all learning to embrace what God has put in our path even if it makes us uncomfortable. It's awesome learning how to get out of the box and try new things, because it's all a part of shaking routine up every once in a while so God can reach in different places through us. He's so good. :)
Firstly, I want to start by writing about how crucially awesome God is. Our small church was built four years ago on the side of Shelbyville highway after eleven years of taking refuge in Barfield Elementary school. We had a big fat piece of land next to the land we built on, and the man who owns the land promised to sell it to us for $220,000. As our church of about 150 fervently prays for a while and continues to pay off our current building, bills, and other activities within the church, this guy suddenly drops the price by $70,000. HOLY POO. That's like, a $70,000 offering. And he says he'll sell it to us for $150,000 so long as we get it together within a month. THAT'S POCKET CHANGE. We've got this. God is seriously awesome!
We're going to buy the land and expand the church...
This is... well, change!
To be completely honest, It was scary watching everything change. Although it was cool and a huge blessing, it was really uncomfortable, but then this past year our church went under a serious revolution of change as far as routine, getting the worship team together, splitting up the kid groups and the middle and high schoolers and adding small groups and digging into new topics... it seriously rocked. Because of that time of what we'd call "pruning" our church body went through some seriously needed growth and it brought us to an awesome place. And now with some new buildings at our finger-tips and an expansion bigger than we can even imagine, things are really going to flourish and change within the next few years. I don't know how it will look, but God knows and has it all planned. It's going to be great.
The Slab was good this morning- the ride with Emily H. and her awesome jeep, the teaching by Emily D. (who really hates pennies) and getting to listen to everyone else in the group share. We're all learning to embrace what God has put in our path even if it makes us uncomfortable. It's awesome learning how to get out of the box and try new things, because it's all a part of shaking routine up every once in a while so God can reach in different places through us. He's so good. :)
Saturday, November 10, 2012
It's not too late for you...
[Song of the Week: Come Away by Jesus Culture]
I'm going to write about something I was challenged with yesterday.
I know this sounds kind of odd, but I've been thinking about peer pressure lately. This is the year in high school that everyone gets swamped with going out and partying and getting in trouble, all a part of trying new things. I'm all up for trying new things and being independent and my own person.... but I know that I could never bring myself to do anything like that...
I don't think it makes me better than those people, and I don't judge people who do that stuff, but thinking about it I've come to realize different things...
I'm the youngest person at my job, so I frequently hear about partying and all of the things associated with it. Some say that when they were younger it was the best because they were always sneaking out and getting in trouble. I kinda just stand there. There isn't much that I can say because I haven't done any those things. I'm not going to be the jerk who sticks their nose up in the air and turns their back on those people because they disagree with their actions, because I want to be open to everyone so that I can reach out and touch their hearts. This may sound stupid, but I even began to question myself. I don't want to seem like the boring one around people because I never go out and have fun. I do have fun in ways that I feel is worth it. I've never tried anything. I've never tried getting in trouble or smoking pot of playing around with sex like most other people my age. Why not? Why do people find enjoyment in these things, and why are they seen as wrong to do? Why haven't I done anything? Why can't I start?
So I thought about this for a long time, and the longer I thought about it, the more I realized how much I can't give in to much of anything...
I am going to be honest with all of you, even though it may make me look like a weakling. Think what you want of me, I don't care.
The second I tell a lie, the guilt seriously sinks into my heart and will remain until I ask God for forgiveness and tell the truth. The moment I start arguing with my mom or the second I say things that I don't mean to her and turn around and go in my room, it hurts until I apologize and try to fix it. The moment I tried to date someone without my mom's permission or God's permission, the guilt ate away at me for weeks on end until that relationship was cut off.
I know that if I were to do something that is blatant disobedience to God, It would cut off my relationship with him. And the second that would happen, I would probably just... I don't know, wither up and die. Seriously.
I can't trade the encounters I've had with him and his love for what people see as fun. I can't live in the moment when I've caught a glimpse of eternity and holiness. I can't trade my passion to serve such an overwhelmingly beautiful God and who pours his love and blessings on me forever as I serve him for the shiny and fun things the world has to offer... I can't. If anyone would try holding up a blunt in front of my face telling me to have some fun and try it, the initial impulse and question would be "Why not?" but in the back of my mind, the pain of tearing a relationship with a God so awesome and heart-moving would make me turn around and walk away.
I've spent too many long hours before his face to want anything else...
I don't want anything else. I have no desire to lose him. I've become completely wrecked for anything else than living for him.
I used to see people just like this, and I wanted it so bad. I wanted to encounter a love so deep that I wouldn't want anything else, because I used to live for myself. I've given into some things that weren't right in my past, but I took the route of Change.
So I sat before the feet of him and cried and worshiped in those conferences and in our church sanctuary and even in my bedroom, and asked him for it. And he gave it to me. And if there's anyone else out there who is sick of living for themselves and who wants to be marked with the loving presence of God, you can have it. It may be costly, but it's worth every second in his loving presence. It's worth every moment being eternally satisfied and fulfilled. You won't have to search endlessly for fulfillment. And if you've messed around with things, it's not too late for you, and it never will be. You will forever and always have a God with open and loving arms ready to embrace you. He loves you no matter what you've done, thought, or seen. But in order to really have him, he wants you first. He wants your desires, your possessions, your time, and he wants you...
Do you really want Him?
I'm going to write about something I was challenged with yesterday.
I know this sounds kind of odd, but I've been thinking about peer pressure lately. This is the year in high school that everyone gets swamped with going out and partying and getting in trouble, all a part of trying new things. I'm all up for trying new things and being independent and my own person.... but I know that I could never bring myself to do anything like that...
I don't think it makes me better than those people, and I don't judge people who do that stuff, but thinking about it I've come to realize different things...
I'm the youngest person at my job, so I frequently hear about partying and all of the things associated with it. Some say that when they were younger it was the best because they were always sneaking out and getting in trouble. I kinda just stand there. There isn't much that I can say because I haven't done any those things. I'm not going to be the jerk who sticks their nose up in the air and turns their back on those people because they disagree with their actions, because I want to be open to everyone so that I can reach out and touch their hearts. This may sound stupid, but I even began to question myself. I don't want to seem like the boring one around people because I never go out and have fun. I do have fun in ways that I feel is worth it. I've never tried anything. I've never tried getting in trouble or smoking pot of playing around with sex like most other people my age. Why not? Why do people find enjoyment in these things, and why are they seen as wrong to do? Why haven't I done anything? Why can't I start?
So I thought about this for a long time, and the longer I thought about it, the more I realized how much I can't give in to much of anything...
I am going to be honest with all of you, even though it may make me look like a weakling. Think what you want of me, I don't care.
The second I tell a lie, the guilt seriously sinks into my heart and will remain until I ask God for forgiveness and tell the truth. The moment I start arguing with my mom or the second I say things that I don't mean to her and turn around and go in my room, it hurts until I apologize and try to fix it. The moment I tried to date someone without my mom's permission or God's permission, the guilt ate away at me for weeks on end until that relationship was cut off.
I know that if I were to do something that is blatant disobedience to God, It would cut off my relationship with him. And the second that would happen, I would probably just... I don't know, wither up and die. Seriously.
I can't trade the encounters I've had with him and his love for what people see as fun. I can't live in the moment when I've caught a glimpse of eternity and holiness. I can't trade my passion to serve such an overwhelmingly beautiful God and who pours his love and blessings on me forever as I serve him for the shiny and fun things the world has to offer... I can't. If anyone would try holding up a blunt in front of my face telling me to have some fun and try it, the initial impulse and question would be "Why not?" but in the back of my mind, the pain of tearing a relationship with a God so awesome and heart-moving would make me turn around and walk away.
I've spent too many long hours before his face to want anything else...
I don't want anything else. I have no desire to lose him. I've become completely wrecked for anything else than living for him.
I used to see people just like this, and I wanted it so bad. I wanted to encounter a love so deep that I wouldn't want anything else, because I used to live for myself. I've given into some things that weren't right in my past, but I took the route of Change.
So I sat before the feet of him and cried and worshiped in those conferences and in our church sanctuary and even in my bedroom, and asked him for it. And he gave it to me. And if there's anyone else out there who is sick of living for themselves and who wants to be marked with the loving presence of God, you can have it. It may be costly, but it's worth every second in his loving presence. It's worth every moment being eternally satisfied and fulfilled. You won't have to search endlessly for fulfillment. And if you've messed around with things, it's not too late for you, and it never will be. You will forever and always have a God with open and loving arms ready to embrace you. He loves you no matter what you've done, thought, or seen. But in order to really have him, he wants you first. He wants your desires, your possessions, your time, and he wants you...
Do you really want Him?
Thursday, November 1, 2012
Flashback
Tonight I take a look back on an experience that forever changed my life the moment I set foot on Kansas City grounds a little over a year ago. I didn't even set foot on the ground before I knew that something was there for me. I knew God was drawing me to the House of Prayer after they held a Onething conference in Nashville two years in a row (2010-2011). I knew it when I heard the sound that was in their music that people called "prophetic". I didn't know what that was or what it meant, but I knew that something was there and that the holy spirit was all over it. There was something I had to get from this place- this tiny prayer room in the middle of Grandview, Missouri (and if you've never been to Grandview, let's just say it's smaller than Murfreesboro and there isn't much to look at). When I first went a year ago, I had been hit with some hard decisions and persecution in that same week. This was my escape- to go to Kansas City and figure out why God wanted me to go there. After that first visit I knew I was bound to go back. And after the second visit (this past summer) I knew I was bound to go back again... and maybe again...
I don't know if this is where I want to go to college... but I do know that before we left on the last day of camp, when everyone was in the prayer room and was beginning to shove their notebooks and bibles in their backpack and head out the door to leave, I felt myself beginning to cry. Not because of prayer, but because I felt like I was leaving this place behind that I felt I could live at forever. But I knew it was time to go. I miss it now. I don't know when I'm going back. I want to go for New Years so bad. Everyone at church is asking why I just don't go to the Ramp with the youth group, but they don't seem to get it...
I'll be back soon.
I don't know if this is where I want to go to college... but I do know that before we left on the last day of camp, when everyone was in the prayer room and was beginning to shove their notebooks and bibles in their backpack and head out the door to leave, I felt myself beginning to cry. Not because of prayer, but because I felt like I was leaving this place behind that I felt I could live at forever. But I knew it was time to go. I miss it now. I don't know when I'm going back. I want to go for New Years so bad. Everyone at church is asking why I just don't go to the Ramp with the youth group, but they don't seem to get it...
I'll be back soon.
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