In the midst of Constant movement

For some reason, visiting the train tracks at the Greenway trail here in Murfreesboro is slowly but surely inspiring me to write something about them.


I remember a couple months ago when I took my first trip to IHOP-KC I felt the spirit of God drawing me there. He'd already told me that I was going to college there months before, but the fact that I stepped into the prayer room and felt the sacred drawing of works of justice and 24/7 prayer and worship planted me there. I knew this was where I'd be one day.
Listening to the archives from the Fascinate conference weeks before, I remember sitting in my sister's living room as we blasted a session of Jon Thurlow leading worship. He was playing the song I later discovered as "Fully in Love", and I remember hearing one of the singer's voices- a high tenor. However, all singers have a unique quality to their voice, especially when they sing to Jesus. This worship leader's voice was saturated with innocence and a pure love and devotion for Jesus. I had no idea who he was, but for months on and off I would wonder who that singer was. It eventually slipped my mind until I went to the prayer and prophetic conference at IHOP and heard this guy's voice again when Jon Thurlow was on set. I later found out that this worship leader was named James Kufeldt and that he leads sets in the prayer room sometimes. His music, like Jon Thurlow's, really opened a door for God to speak into my heart. I even found that he had a blog and read something that really spoke to me.


http://jameskufeldt.blogspot.com/2010/11/struggle-why-i-do-what-i-do.html

"I began to go through different options in my mind: I could go to college and get a degree in counseling and child psychology, I could come back to work with them and tell them of Jesus' love, I could give up everything to become an advocate for the orphan...

And in the muddle of all of my "coulds", the doubtful question surfaced: "What are you doing with your life?" With such injustice in the world, how could I justify spending the majority of my time and energy in a prayer room? As everything that I've done in the past four years came into question, I felt God speak to me, tenderly insistent:

"But James, the ultimate injustice is that My Son is not universally worshiped and adored."

If all wrong things were made right;
if every orphan were placed in a loving home;
if poverty and hunger ceased to exist;
if oppression and slavery were completely eradicated;
if crime came to a screeching halt;
would we then be content?"


When God told me I was suppose to go to Kansas City after I graduate high school, I got excited because I KNEW that's where my heart was, before I set foot on the ground. I had thought about going to MTSU or Belmont or something local here in Tennessee, and I thought "Oh, I'll become a writer or a psychologist or a counselor or teacher." or something. Or maybe a doctor or a secretary or someone who will make money and do something America deems as "great" in life. But after a full year of praying the plan of God out with my small group, I finally knew and understood that this was where God was leading me to go.
Try telling that to everyone who asks what career you're planning for your life.
"Oh yeah! I go to Oakland High School. Yeah, they do offer the International Baccalaureate program. Well, no, I'm not taking the full IB program that will get me into colleges like Harvard or Yale. I'm taking the IB english and IB music courses. MTSU? Nashville School of the Arts? Nah. I'm going to Forerunner Music Academy at IHOPU in Kansas City when I graduate. Accredited? I don't think they are. Scholarships? I'm not sure... IB Credits? I don't know if they accept those... a carrer? Well... I'll be leading worship and being a musician and a songwriter..."

...You get the point.

After thinking about this I became greatly concerned. I didn't worry, because I know God supplies my needs. But really when it came down to it, what was God going to do with my life? Would I take bible and music education and graduate and leave it at that? Then what would I do? Come back home or would I decide to stay in Kansas City? Why did God want me to go there in the first place? What is my purpose in become a worship leader- someone who can lead people into the presence of God, that isn't there just for a stupid performance, but to be used by God to bring fourth his glory in the end times...
My purpose is to worship him.
I could become anything I want to be, or anything America wants me to be...
but I would be miserable.
I want to be what God wants me to be.
I'm only Sixteen and have the rest of my life to discover who all I am in him. But now I know that in this hour, I've got to reach souls at my school. I've got to train to be a worship leader at my church and be a light and a leader for the Word and Spirit church kids and the youth group... and I've got to keep finding who I am in him. Worshiping him.


And if he wants me to sit at his feet and worship him for the rest of my life, I will do just that.
I will be one of the ones he set aside to bring the injustice of Jesus not being universally worshiped and adored brought fourth to justice as the Lord's generation has a revelation of who God is as their lover and creator.
I will love God with all of my heart, soul, mind and strength...
I will Do Justly.

With the eyes like a flame a of fire...

You are faithful and just to forgive us of our sins and faults.
You are faithful to hold us close to your heart.
You will never lead us astray. But closer to you.
The more we see your heart, the more we catch the vision.
You desire our hearts, and we desire yours.



"Let me walk with You on the narrow road
I know it may get lonely but I know Iʼm not alone
Iʼll seek You in the wilderness, I know thatʼs where You are
You whisper like the breeze, Youʼre speaking to my heart
You say...

Let me walk with You
On the Narrow road...
I know it may get lonely
but I know Iʼm not alone
Iʼll seek You in the wilderness,
I know thatʼs where You are
You whisper like the breeze,
Youʼre speaking to my heart...

You say
The wide gate looks so beautiful
but destruction is its end
Go against the stream, my friend
and stand where angels fear to tread

At Your feet I lay my crowns
With my tears I sow
into those who will one day
Know the glory of
the narrow road."
[Narrow Road- Rick Pino]



I knew of the Narrow road. But I never really knew what it was until I walked upon it.

Sometimes it felt as if I wouldn't make it. But the truth is that I can. Because I'm walking next to Jesus, and he's leading me.
It's hard not to run with everyone else. Get caught up in everything going on around us. Side-tracks are just what they are... they're temporary, existing only for temporary pleasure and to distract us. But there's a prize at the end of the race. And it's eternal.

When we're living a life fascinated in the love of God, living every single day in passionate devotion to him and the eternal consequences, the Narrow Road becomes no more difficult than loving God itself. Because when we're in a state of seeking him, everything else seems to dissipate. Because it's so magnificent. So life-changing. So genuine. Real love.

Reflect.

Out of everything I expected this time of year to be, I definitely didn't expect it to be like this.

We're given opporunities in life to either succeed or fail. To either make a mistake or make something amazing. Sometimes we're heeded by everything around us to be careful. We're heeded to not even take a risk, because it's better to be ignorant in he heart and mind than to risk he possibility of hitting rock bottom.

But if we don't take the risk, how will we know?
We won't.


The past three months have changed my life.
What happened these past few months wasn't a mistake,and I have no regrets.
They were amazing and they were absolutely terrifying. Like most new experiences. And now the memories and moments of that time are stored away in my heart and in my mind. Not to cling to. But to reflect on.
Sometimes my mind will try to rethink things, telling me "You can never have those moments back." And it makes me distraught...
But you know what?
That's okay.
I will live a life full of tests and trails. Of successes and failures. But I won't turn around. I won't run away.
Because in heaven when I sit at the feet of Jesus, broken before him
I know every step toward him will have been worth it. And this I am confident in...

When we keep pressing, when we don't give up- we win.

What you Listen to.

Living He loves me, Dying he saved me
Buried he carried my sins far away.
Rising he justified,
Freely forever
One day he's coming, Oh Glorious day.
Oh glorious day....

This is the song we're singing for the Christmas program. :) I'm so excited. A little disappointed that the youth group couldn't do a drama or something. But excited to get to sing with the kids and newly founded worship team. This is going to be awesome. And I get to do it again on Christmas eve except we'll be singing worship songs for the eve service...



Just this year I've been invited to a lot more parties than ever before... sweet 16's, other birthday parties, whatever they are or what they may be for. And I've noticed that even after hanging out with good friends, I come home feeling completely worn out, but most of all I feel spiritually drained. My friend Bekah always told me that she had a conviction about secular music, and that she wouldn't dance to it or listen to it in her car or anything. Of course at the time (about 3 years ago) I'm like "What the heck?" just thinking that the idea was strange and a bit overboard to me. I was set on fire for Jesus at 13 but I still listened to (and continue to this day) some of my favorites such as Linkin Park, Owl City, Coldplay, Rascal Flatts, Christmas music, a few select oldies, and others. I noticed my fondness for secular music dying down after my desire for Jesus increased. I'm a musician. And all I wanted to do was sing about him after encountering such a love I'd never seen before.
Some of what Relient K, Skillet, The Classic Crime and Hawk Nelson sing aren't ALWAYS about Jesus, but at the same time I'm not feeding myself with the filth most popular music has to offer today when they start singing about desire for death, sex, drugs, hatred of life, pointless junk, etc.
It glorifies sin. And while I don't particularly care to get in a car or get on the school bus or go to the mall or a party and hear to it, I still feel like a stink bomb was just dropped in my heart releasing all of this grossness that contradicts the word of God or has no meaning or whatever...

Do I like the catchy sounds of popular music? Duh!
"Everyday I'm shufflin'."
That's always fun to sing and dance to.

A GIRL singing "I kissed a girl and I liked it"....
or "Lets get in the car and have sex baby"...
...I mean come on, really?
It's all about sin and idle stuff that just fades away. It's temporary. It dies. And it's pulling you down while it dies.

Does everyone need to have conviction about listening to secular music? No. I mean when it comes down to it, I don't. But at the same time I know that I can only handle the majority of it in small doses.
It like drains me rather than energizes me, you know? I don't feed that into my heart every second of the day. I get up and sing and listen to stuff that I can sing to God to, because it's how I live. Then I can go sing choir stuff. Then I'm ready to face the world...

Without that vital time of prayer behind closed doors, we're vital to what we face everyday. Whoever you are, wherever you are, I encourage you to make God the first person you talk to when you wake up and the last when you go to bed. It's life changing and it's a big help.


I turn 16 in 2 days.... :) feeling pretty awesome right about now.
Have a great day everyone.

Thanksgiving and Supplication

Adoration
Confession
Thanksgiving
Supplication


"Now it shall come to pass in the latter days
That the mountain of the Lord’s house
Shall be established on the top of the mountains,
And shall be exalted above the hills;
And all nations shall flow to it.
Many people shall come and say,

“Come, and let us go up to the mountain of the LORD,
To the house of the God of Jacob;
He will teach us His ways,
And we shall walk in His paths.”
For out of Zion shall go forth the law,
And the word of the LORD from Jerusalem.
He shall judge between the nations,
And rebuke many people;
They shall beat their swords into plowshares,
And their spears into pruning hooks;
Nation shall not lift up sword against nation,
Neither shall they learn war anymore.

--Isaiah 2:2-4



As those who seek the face of Jesus, we travel slowly up this mountain to see the Lord God most high- the one we desire. We see the light at the top of the hill- the city set upon the hill. Our hearts are confident that at the top of that hill, we will find the glory of God to fulfill our lives. And we are confident that we will find our inner identity there by seeing his plan for us- the plan of a future and a hope in Jeremiah 29:11.

And we find ourselves there... standing at the top of this hill, with God holding us up on his shoulders as we look all around us at the never-ending stretch of landscape full of sights to see- as if we were standing ontop of the world itself, seeing the never ending possibilities God sets before us in life to run after. It's just us and God at the top of the hill. There is no one else there to see the plan he has for us, because that plan is for us and us alone to see. Individually. God shows us the plan when we take the step of faith to climb the hill and make an effort to really know the plan.

I feel like I've been at the top of the hill since March. As if I've lived there- at the top of the hill, looking around and seeing what God wants to be done. I've built my home at the top, and when I see this plan God has for me- an assignment, I pick myself up, pack a bag, and climb down the hill onto the landscape, venturing to find the assignment. I pray after I leave the hill- so much, because I need it. I must stay constant in the presence of God to really live. It's what I've founded my very identity on and I can never abandon it or run from it, but rather run to it when I am weak.
And after finishing the assignment, piece by piece, I climb the mountain again. I climb mount God. To be with the one I love. To be with the one I was created for. Because I was created to love God... and so were you.

We are created to love God and be loved by him.

Climb the mountain. Don't be afraid.
Take a step of faith. Words are valuable, and so are commitments.
But who is worth more in the end?





Tomorrow I'm sharing Thanksgiving with two more people than usual- a boy and his mother in need of love and in need of open arms- a family. I don't know them. And I've never met them. But I can't wait until I do. Because although I don't know them, I love them with all of my heart and welcome them to share Thanksgiving with my family and I. I've prayed for them, and I heard their story. They've been exposed to so much in their lives... but they haven't yet been exposed to real love. The love of Jesus. Agape-Love.
And I can't wait until they see it.
Because it's amazing. :)

Come Set Your Seal Upon Me...

Sometimes I find myself just sitting and thinking upon the beauty of Jesus and dwelling in the secret place.
It's so deep...
It's a pure place, where it's just you and God. Very pure and very intimate. I've been praying a lot lately about Clean Hands and a Pure Heart. One night a few nights ago, God told me "The forerunners in the end times will be the ones with clean hands and pure hearts- and I will call them my holy ones. They will live separately. Differently. And I've called you to be holy. To not look like everyone else."
We were called be innocent. Pure. Like children. To hide our eyes from things we know will hurt us. To stay in the shadow of his wing. To live exposed to the beauty and love of Jesus. And to show it to everyone we come in contact with.


Then the lame shall leap like a deer,
And the tongue of the dumb sing.
For waters shall burst forth in the wilderness,
And streams in the desert.
The parched ground shall become a pool,
And the thirsty land springs of water;
In the habitation of jackals, where each lay,
There shall be grass with reeds and rushes.
A highway shall be there, and a road,
And it shall be called the Highway of Holiness.
The unclean shall not pass over it,
But it shall be for others.
Whoever walks the road, although a fool,
Shall not go astray.

Isaiah 35:6-8


I'm so glad God placed me in Word and Spirit Church. There have been so many shifts and changes since I really stepped up and comitted to live this life for Jesus. I'm excited to see our platform worship team and ministry grow... really excited... God put me here for a reason... put people in my path for a reason... and it's awesome. :)

God, teach me how to love you. Thank you for this week. Thank you for showing me things that I need to know. Thank you for putting me in the paths of others no matter where I go, and thank you that you've put me there to minister your love to them. It's all about you, Jesus. It's not about us. You are the center. You are love. Your grace and mercies are everlasting, and they never fade away. Beauty may fade, but the love and word of God stands strong forever. It's eternal. I want to fix my eyes on the eternal, not the temporal. Thank you for those in my school and in church. Thank you for shaking them awake, for revival and a love awakening. A fire set upon our hearts, so we can dive beneath the surface of who you are. Thank you Jesus.... come set your love as a seal on our hearts. In Jesus Name...

Taking the Initiative

I want to live a life where everyday I can step out without being afraid and doing exactly what God's called me to do, fulfilling it diligently and to the fullest without any drawbacks.



At times more recently than before I've felt as if I had been slightly slacking on Morning Devotion and praying for revival in my school. I was going to it, of course, and continuing to be a leader, but I realized myself becoming more and more distracted with the world instead of doing what I'd always done and what's pushed it more than anything else: spending vital time in prayer behind closed doors.

I felt it slipping slightly as I started becoming more time-consumed with projects, school work, grades, responsibilities, chores and even people. School projects are a hasseland inconvenience to me. So is homework, especially when each teacher drowns you with it as if homework is the only life you have. I'm sorry, but I spend 8 hours a day at school and I'm suppose to spend 8 hours sleeping. I have important things to do with the other 8 hours of my day that don't include dedicating it to school work. But nevertheless, if I want to graduate high school, it must be done unfortunately. I understand how it is to feel that way.

But we've gotta stay in the gap.

All of this chaos is going on and we can't let it distract us. I can't let it distract me... because I know there are people at school that get up every day who aren't saved. And I'm not sure when they'll die, or if they will make it to heaven if they do. But I love them. And I want them to know...

Who may ascend into the hill of the LORD?
Or who may stand in His holy place?
He who has clean hands and a pure heart,
Who has not lifted up his soul to an idol,
Nor sworn deceitfully.
He shall receive blessing from the LORD,
And righteousness from the God of his salvation.
This is Jacob, the generation of those who seek Him,
Who seek Your face.
-Psalm 24:3-6


The other night I was praying and God spoke to my heart... He told me that he was raising up a generation of holiness- of his holy ones; that the Lord's generation, who will see the returning of Jesus, IS the gernation of holiness. And he said that his holy ones must maintain clean hands and a pure heart... They can't run astray. But they have to stay in him- to know what it truly means to live in his heart and to not slow down or step aside. To not run away, but run into his wide open arms. And that's where we find ourselves in.