Insanity or Reality?

 Written two days ago

Sometimes they look at me like I’m insane, like I’m still a kid living in a fairy tale and I’m letting my dreams and imagination control me.

 Like I’m running around the house barefooted with a blanket as a cape and a mask jumping from couch to couch to avoid the lava so I can save all of the stuffed animals.

Except that I’m 16 and can no longer have dreams of saving the world. Apparently I have to “wake up” and realize that I can’t “save the world”.

They look at me like it’s impossible. Impossible to change things. Like I’m pathetic living in a dream.

Am I?

It’s like they don’t even realize that we can change it one small action at a time. They don’t seem to care about connection. Inferring that I have to “cope” with the heart that I have to reach out instead of putting it to good use and actually doing something worth the effort. Maybe God gave me a heart like this for a reason and maybe I’ll never change.

The only community outreaches we have at the church at I go to is a food pantry and a youth group. That’s about it.

Seriously.

 Is it really that bad to want to actually get out there and go do something that will change the way things are? We might only be individuals, but we can change the way things are! Things don't have to stay complacent and ":okay". They don't...

I guess the thing is that I wasn’t even thinking about all of this "community outreach" stuff until this year. When I would go running, I’d start thinking of places in Murfreesboro like The Journey Home, S.A.V.E, Special Kids and Good Shepherd’s Childrens Home and wonder why I wasn’t there doing something during my free time.

 As much of a procrastinator I may be, I’m not about wasting time and watching and hearing people suffer. In October after God put justice themed scriptures on my heart, that’s when I started thinking about it. When people see other people putting real time, real effort and real money into something that they don’t personally benefit from, then they know they see something different because the selfishness is excluded. It’s love. Love serves.

I don’t even play sports, because unless it’s recreational or just for fun when I’m hanging out with my friends, I feel like it’s time-consuming and that I’m wasting it. I could seriously jump into a sports team right now and put all my effort into it regardless if a coach yells at me. That isn’t the problem as much as people see it.  I don’t fancy being yelled at but I can handle it, thank you very much. The reason I don’t do sports because I feel like it wastes my time holding a record up when I’m not going to have anything to do with it 2 years from now.

We’re living in a society that’s so consumed with living for itself that it’s forgotten and abandoned its own to fend for themselves. No one really cares.

We’re taking what was given to us for granted every day. And if it requires extra work that “isn’t going to matter” then they just throw it out the window like it isn’t meaningful. 

Not that not having the desire to volunteer means you’re a bad person. We all of an area of gifting and ministry/.. But it’s like a missions trip. They say a person should go on a mission trip at least once in their life. Why? Because they can see what it’s really like in other places where they don’t have anything... 

So I guess that's it. Next year I'm going to volunteer. And I'm going to get a car, and I'm going to keep my word when I promise people things. And I can keep living in my fairytale if I want to, no matter what people think... because we can change the world and I believe that with everything within me, no matter what, and nothing that ever happens will change my mind about that.

Lessons I’ve learned today;

-we can’t rely on those who are known to be untrustworthy

-we can’t always put our full trust and expectation in man, or else we’ll be let down

-we have total and complete control over choosing to let a situation greatly upset us or not

-there are a lot of people out there that need someone