Called To Play.

I remember times these past two years there were climaxes I had of feeling very musically discouraged. In middle school band I was so used to being the top student and the only one that cared to practice and cared to get better. I strived to play well.

When entering high school my freshman year my self esteem dropped as I tried reading and playing the music we had to play in Concert band on the first day. I felt so lost. I didn't even know half of the notes or half of what I was playing, meanwhile there were several other flute players (another thing I wasn't used to) that played so much better than me.

The beginning of high school was an exciting experience but difficult all the while. Most of the time I wasn't even at peace in my heart and I was so stressed out and worried about every little thing. I felt like a tiny spec under a microscope compared to the rest of the band who were mostly members of the marching band, and who seemed to play at their best all the time.

I practiced, but I remember thinking to myself "Why am I even doing this?" I saw how well everyone else played and it made me want to shut my flute in its case, walk away and never come back. All the flutes I ever had were school-owned since we couldn't afford one. I felt like just another "non-marcher" in the band.
In my second semester I'd achieved 2nd chair flute in concert band, which sent my hopes up for a while, but even after this, I remember thinking to myself I'll never measure up to people like first chair players no matter how hard I try.
Band just became a daily routine.
I'd go in and sit down.
I would mess up, stumbling over notes.
I felt like an idiot messing up my scales and misreading some notes or playing simple rhythms incorrectly.

Things turned rather gray at that point.

The beginning of this year I was put in Wind Ensamble, which is an assortment of some of the more advanced instrument players at our school, typically grades 10-12. I remember dancing around after reading on my schedule that I had been put in W.E and it put hope in me. I can get better- I will get better.

A few nights ago I got my flute out to practice my mid-state and chair placement music. I thought a couple times I know exactly how this will turn out. I will practice it all wrong, get scared in front of my band teacher. I won't play the rhythms right. But I knew I needed to practice.

I pulled out my flute and before I warmed up, I thought of something I liked to do.
I turned on the song "To Worship you I live" by Israel Houghton and began listening to the song, then started playing by ear. After this the song "Come and Let your Presence" by Tim Reimherr came on.

Come and let your presence fill our praise, fill our praise.
Come and let your presence fill this place...
for you are the one we want to meet
Jesus shine through all the praises that we sing...

It's all for you,
here we are, here we are...

In the moment I played this and the other song it was like I was reminded where my heart belonged.

I belong with music.
I am a musician and this is my instrument.
Maybe I can play all kinds of things by ear, but this is the flute and this was my first instrument. If I have a heart for music and don't strive to master music, including striving to master the flute and the instruments that I choose, then where will it lead me? No where. Maybe not everyone in the world is called to play, but I know in my heart that God has called me and that I'M called to play music.

I'm not called to look at other people and say "Oh, they're so much better than me! Shotuldn't I just quit now?" I'm called to strive and follow through with MY passion- he very passion God's placed on the inside of me! It's my very dream to run with this passion, my very heart to play music, to glorify him through it, and to lead others to do the same.

It was like God told me right there in my heart...

"You know what? Some guy could be first chair trumpet and he's not following the path I called him to... but you're in the back section of the flutes and you're following through with what I called you to. Who is being obedient? Why are you doing this- Why are you playing music and why do you sing? I CALLED YOU. Stop looking at everyone else and look at the gifts, talents and passion that I put inside of your heart!!! Look at what I did to your ears and when I set in front of you. Run after your passion with endurance!"


This is the truth, and
This is my identity.
Unless I do what he's called me to now,
I won't have a future.
Unless I sing now, I won't be able to do what I'm called to do at the House of Prayer in Kansas City one day.
Unless I study and play music now, I won't achieve my dream.
Most of all, I won't achieve his plan.
And I live every day to do just that.

I live to worship him. I live to worship him by writing, and I live to worship him by singing and playing.

This is my calling.
I'm called to play.
I'm called to listen.
I'm called to sing.

And I'm called to lead, glorifying his name through every note.





Lowest Place by Laura Hacket during the IHOPU student awakening.... this is an amazing song... currently working on playing the piano part of this...

Pray, Prophesy.

Today after church I went back to my sister's house and we pulled IHOP's fascinate conference up online and connected it to the T.V and listened to the worship and sermon until our prayer group met that evening... talk about encountering God in your own living room!

Jon Thurlow and a worship team was singing the music and we just sang along and let the presence of God saturate the living room, then Misty Edwards began talking about our generation prophesying through sound, and God raising up the young musicians and people who work with media/sound techs.

I had listened to this sermon the DAY I left for Kid's Camp, where I'd spend a week ministering to children and helping lead worship in the evening. Even so, hearing it again it stirred my heart and opened a lot of thinking doors for me. This evening at prayer we began reaching higher places in prayer. I'd never seen a place like this before. Our church body is ascending and the pace is picking up twice the speed in half the time, as we prayed about many months ago! This is totally awesome!


I follow Claire McClean's blog, One Passion One Devotion , and she frequently says that she's thankful for and loves her house group. I agree- I'm thankful for my prayer group too!!!! (and the many that meet at different times in the Word and Spirit Church body). Sometimes it seems like there's hardly anyone there and sometimes it seems like there's more people than usual but God always moves in miraculous ways and we leave knowing things were being shaken and moved in the spirit.



At this stand point, I believe a lot of prophecies spiritually concerning Israel are being shaken.
I can't even describe it.

It's just awesome...


"Beat your plowshares into swords and your pruning hooks into spears.
Let the weakling say, "I am strong!"
Assemble and come, all you nations,
and gather together all around.
Cause your mighty ones to go down there, O Lord.
Let the nations be wakened and come up to the valley of Jehoshaphat,
for there I will sit to judge all the surrounding nations.
Put in the sickle, for the Harvest is ripe.
Come, go down, for the winepress is full- the vats overflow, for their wickedness is great.
Multitudes- Multitudes in the valley of decision!"

--Joel 3:10-14



We read this passage the week before last at our Sunday prayer meeting and SINCE then our prayer meetings have gone sky high- higher than "usual" as we climb, as my sister Angie likes to say, Mount God. :) A week before our Wednesday night youth sessions have gone sky high.

The harvest is ripe! The harvest of souls is coming- passion for Jesus and passion of the harvest is fueling the hearts of our body!

Not only that, but these prayer groups and clubs at school are out of the sky!!! Fellowship of Christian Athletes (FCA), Timothy Club and the Morning Devotional group have all asked if I'd get involved and come and speak/help lead each. I'm so excited! This is what I prayed for over a year ago! God is SO raising up the students passionate for him and it's a blessing! The harvest is ripe and stuff is happening. :)

Pitter, Patter ... [edited]

...I felt my heart leap and sing,
pitter, patter
but I check in my head
and something wants to know the matter.
I keep myself
in check,
making sure
my head is clear and
things are right...
one,
two,
three,
check.

You gave me a smile today,
your eyes were bright,
and your expression captivating,
an expression I'd never seen before,
but all I could do was smile back;
pitter, patter
"He probably thinks you're a geek"
pitter, patter
Maybe, maybe not...
Oh, what's the matter?
Still, there's the constant
pitter, patter
I wonder if he'd ever feel the same way...
pitter patter
the phrase itself is so cliche.
Part of me says he wouldn't,
but the other part says maybe in some way
Does he know, should he know?
Am I the only one who's heart begins to race?
pitter, patter
No, not right now,
pitter, patter
Focus on the moment
pitter, patter
I want his friendship
above anything else.

I chase my God
with all of my heart,
loving and pursuing him,
living a lifestyle of glorifying him.
Pursuing him above all else.
Does he do the same?
Does he run and endure
eternity's race?
Is he full of perseverance
to seek his face?
I wonder if he likes to hold hands...
Wait, stop...
Check.
1,2,3,
breathe, now focus... go.

I wanna be the friend that
focuses on walking in the light of God's love,
being who I am in Christ,
being who God created me to be,
the one who seeks the kingdom first,
seek his love first,
God's love first;
It's best to always
keep in check.


I see him once again
and we stand and talk again,
pitter, patter,
while my young mind is still working
to figure out
what about this clatter...

Pitter, patter.....

Prophesying through sound.

The piano keys have captured my heart...

I'm almost positive this is one of the things I want to do in the future when I go to be a worship leader/ musician at the House of Prayer...

of course this and other instruments yet to come.

Music is quite enjoyable... you can never find anyone in the world that absolutely despises music, as I've said before. End of story.

Sounds have captured us all, because God created music and sounds to glorify him and to prophesy, as he's created us to do the same thing with our lives and voices.



Music is VERY prophetic.
People can prophesy the word of God on an instrument. Anyone who says that one can't is a liar. It's IN the worship. When I close my eyes and find chords on the piano that I never knew existed, or feel the sound of the flute being lifted to him, and I'm glorifying the father with every note, every harmony and with each sound, I KNOW he created music to be prophetic, and I know he wants me to prophesy him by playing.




I really want to be taught properly how to play the piano and guitar and how to sing, then it will be easier to play. Sometimes it's frustrating being unable to read piano music, but I use my ears, my mind and I put my heart into it as for now.
I've seen people at times hit the keys trying to make a song and they can't play it, or they try to harmonize a note but it doesn't work out and I simply wonder why their ears can't hear that the sound is incorrect. (Then again, this is probably the same thing as others wondering why I can't instantly solve division problems in my head.)

I remember when I was younger hearing the sound of a lawn mower or car and humming back the sound it was making. For real, people wonder- what kind of kid does that? I have friends that have told me they're the same way- and it's a gift that God puts in them. It's hearing and prophesying through sound.

Some churches just don't allow instruments because they believe it's a "distraction" to the glory of God. In some churches it is if the musicians are up there just to perform a song and go off the stage. I was in a youth service one time where they had seemed to just be playing a song on their instruments rather than having actual worship and it was the MOST awkward feeling I'd ever had. They weren't glorifying God on their instruments like they could have been- they were performing for people. Everyone stood around like it was a concert. I was thoroughly embarrassed, unsure of how to act, so I just stood and sang along with the words I knew.

This is why there is a HUGE difference between actually worshiping God with an instrument & singing, and just standing up there just playing along. Without the love and power of God in music, you're just making pointless noise that echoes into the vapor of this life.

Not all churches are like that. Music was made to glorify him, and sin has perverted music today with people who like to sing about sin and just throw it out there for money. Personally, I don't think secular, or non-christian music, is bad. I listen to it, and a lot of Christians I know do it, too. But is there a limit to what you're feeding into yourself?
Yes.
Music is powerful.
If I sit around all day listening to Lil' Wayne rap about wanting to have sex and get high all day, and I walk around singing those words and confessing that with my mouth, what am I gonna think about?

And who am I NOT thinking about?

Case proven.


God has a plan for each of us. He's created arts to glorify him- dance, song, music, art, writing, pictures, acting, ballet- all of it. He's created people to go out into the nations and preach the gospel across the world away from their homes. He's created people to sit in an office and be talented to talk on the phone and be a secretary. Maybe it's someones talent or calling to be a garbage man or a truck driver. Who knows? How would they impact eternity by what they do?

What is your calling? And how are you called to prophesy?

{Fire and Rain}

"Gos·pel

noun /ˈgäspəl/

1. A Teaching or Revelation of Christ
2. Good News"


As I was coming to a newly began morning devotional bible study/prayer group on Tuesday morning, I remember walking toward the annex building pavilion. And right before my eyes I remember blinking and seeing three boys gathered, one with a bible talking to the others.
In that moment I felt my heart give a leap and a tug.
This is what I prayed for all of last year.
This IS what I saw.

When I was praying for revival to come to our generation and high school- for young people my age to have a passion for Jesus rise up on the inside of them... I saw this.

The past month has been a river of life rushing around all aspects of the spirit.

Prophetic voice was give at our prayer group Sunday night... I can't even describe the magnificence of exactly what happened that evening.
But all I can say is that spiritually,
this is a new place.
And we're on the ascension.

This Wednesday and Last Wednesday at our youth group, worship has ended with us crying out to Jesus in prayer and intercession and supplication. Our WEDNESDAY NIGHTS have been like, if not better than, some of our On Fire Youth Face Nights we hold for a long time one Saturday night a month. We've really met and encountered God's love, fire and RAW presence. Our youth group isn't asleep. They're awake and alive.

God answers prayer.
This is it.
It's happening.
And revival and the gospel are like fire... they spread. :)

Manifestations

http://wakeupthenormallife.blogspot.com/2011/04/prayer-sunday-was-so-thick.html


I posted this blog a while back, and as you scroll more toward the bottom, it talks about dreams I began having of things of prayer manifesting and the holy spirit coming upon people...

Two of the boys that I dreamt of encountering God have encountered him and haven't been the same since then.
Just between the time I had those dreams and now.

The dream about the boy with the bugs being cast away from him and him falling down in a prayer meeting that had broken out is now in church and passionately devoted to God. When I talk to him, he said that he'd rededicated his life to the lord, was back in church and that I was one of the people who inspired him to do so.
This immediately brought me back to the time, six months before, that I had him on my heart to pray for strongly, and I remember asking my prayer group to lift him up in prayer and the time that I lay in my room on my face, and in the youth room at church later, praying for him and for him to have a love encounter with the true, living God and for God to heal his heart...

No one can ever deny the existence of a living, loving God when prayer like that manifests before your very eyes. When you see someone who was in the depths rise up on wings as eagles and run back to Jesus out of the mess they were entangled in.

One thing I've learned as an intercessor is that sometimes while interceding for someone or for a group of people you can feel some of the things they are feeling or going through... and I remember while praying for this person it was like all I could see and hear was this empty void of darkness. It was scary. And it made me want to cry out for him. To stand in the gap between him and God.

I'm a servant. I WANT to stand in the gap.

Because the reward of seeing them return to Jesus is priceless.

And I wouldn't trade it for any treasure in this world.


The dream about having a prayer meeting with a group of people- I remember praying with the one boy and the holy spirit came upon him, and the girl beside him fell over. When I invited him to IHOP's Onething conference the exact same thing that happened in the dream happened there. But the girl in the dream was someone we knew from school that I met a month after having that dream.

The boy in the dream did encounter God. And this is his story.

http://blake-highschoollife.blogspot.com/2011/05/god-cosuming-me.html

Changed life.

And the girl and I talked and she asked me if I could pray for her. She absolutely loves Jesus and God has a big future for her...


Prayers have been manifesting all year.

This IS the year of Heaven on Earth.

Seeing a guy at my church that had run from prayer for a couple years return and lead a prayer meeting at youth camp was a manifestation.
Seeing the captive set free and cutters rededicate their lives to God and be set free from bondage at youth camp was a prayer manifestation.
Seeing revival rise up in my school and students desiring Jesus IS a prayer manifestation.

And it will only get better.

Teenage Love, Infatuations, and so on.

I've thought about what I was going to write about. I actually just had this to post on my heart not even 20 minutes ago as I was doing laundry. (Things like this happen frequently, lol.)


Lately I've been learning some discipline on where the boundary line is for crushes, and when that can start getting out of hand.

I've had a crush for several months now. I believe this is the longest lasting crush I've had, actually.... And The guy is amazing! He has a heart in pursuit of Jesus and he has a great personality with many attributes that I appreciate.

But is there a boundary line?





Truth...


God is the ultimate source of love. He created love, he IS love. Love's definition is him sending himself as a human, or his son, Jesus, to take on the sins of the world so that he could have a loving and intimate relationship with us. He wants us and desires us as people.

But so often we just ignore that fact in pursuit of what we think is love.

To be honest, I'd rather have the true, defined love of God in my life than the love of any man on the planet.


If you're a Christian who is in hot pursuit of Jesus and you end up liking a person that isn't... don't go for a relationship with that person.
Think you can change them?
You really can't.
God can.
You can pray for them and be their friend.
But if you try to date them and reveal that real part of you to them, they will pull you down.
And before you know it, you'll be in a miserable relationship that you didn't expect...


Damon Thompson from the Ramp once said something like this-

"You know how you find who you should marry? Run as hard and fast as you can after the kingdom of God and seek his face. And in that race look and see who's running next to you. Marry them."

This is one of my favorite quotes from him... and it's so true!

It's as simple as this: if we are desiring Jesus and in this race seeking his face and we stumble upon a guy who may or may not love Jesus and he isn't RUNNING and desiring God as much as you are, it isn't for that time.
Don't date him.
If you're a Christian and they aren't then you really shouldn't be dating them anyways unless you want to get pulled away from God.
The bible says in 2 Corinthians 6:14 "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?"
You can't expect to date or marry someone who doesn't love Jesus and not get dragged down or pulled behind. You reveal one of the most intimate sides of you to a person you marry and in some cases date, and if you aren't revealing that part of you as a person (personality wise, not sexually) then you don't really like them as much as you think.

There is a difference between love and infatuation.

You know the guy you've liked for a few weeks? And he's really cute and has a nice personality and he likes to flirt and he sits next to you in history class and you just really want to date him and ask him out?

INFATUATION.

People in church. Listen to me.

Don't get distracted and get off course from what God wants you to do over one, single, person.

Church people, listen to me. For real.

"Oh but in church he jumps during the fast songs and raises his hands during the slow songs and he reads her bible all the time!"

But the real question is, does he REALLY love God just because he does that stuff?
Maybe or maybe not, You've only seen the surface.
When you really get to know him, maybe that isn't who he is at all. Maybe after church he does home and has sex with multiple girls and gets high and goes out and steals and cheats...





I have more but I don't feel like posting it.


So really, what should I do about this crush I have?

I have a lot ahead of me this year. I have honors classes, church responsibilities, I need to get a car, therefore a job eventually, and I want to help take lead in Christian Organizations at my school this year. I want to embrace those things. There are a lot of people that will get saved and revival is coming.

I don't want a guy I like to distract me from that. Because now isn't the right time.

And that isn't being ridiculous, that's me telling the truth.
Because this is what happens to girls, or guys, vice versa-
guys consume their thoughts, emotions, minds and everything becomes a blurr.
They ignore God.
They can't hear him speaking to their hearts because this thickening net of infatuation is choking his voice from their spiritual ears.
A distraction, believe it or not.
They start getting frustrated, hurt and out of kilter.
However, it won't be a distraction if it's the right time.
And I know now isn't the right time. Not yet for me anyway.

Maybe he'll like me one day. Maybe we'll go off and get married one day or maybe not, who knows? I don't know if he likes me let alone not knowing if I like him.

But I've decided that right now, it really doesn't matter.

I do what I need to do now.

We'll see what happens when the right time comes about.

And when the right time does come about, all will be well and our relationship will glorify God and lift him up, whoever that person may be.


Hope this helped you.

Good night :)

Character Matters- Kids Camp 2011

A view from the other end of the Spectrum...

This is DEFINITELY what's been going on!


This past week I attended and Junior Counseled Kid's Camp 2011 (Hosted by Word&Spirit church here in Murfreesboro) and it was a large combination of word-of-faith churches around the area.
I didn't even realize how much work was put into making these camps happen! I remember being a camper myself not so long ago when I was about 8 and 9 years old. Now it was an opportunity to get a look on the other end of the spectrum!

We stayed at the same campsite- this time we had a couple cabins rented out for the little ones, an assembly hall, and the bunk lodge for the older children. There were about 85 some kids between the ages of 6 and 12 all together with 25 or so adults/teenagers for 5 days... imagine how busy this could be!



The Theme was Character Matters! [Not quite sure who made that sign but whoever it was spelled character wrong.....]


During the day, the kids were able to do many activities, some like this...



A few girls painting




Looking for Bugs to catch


They were also able to swim, learn about camping, pond fish, horseback ride, and much more.




Dinner Time was BUSY!



They loved getting around the camp site by sitting on the back of Brother Keith's trailer hitch.



The older girls were ready to nail some boys with water balloons for Water Day



Ready, set, fire!



In the evenings it went something like this...



Angie, Theo, Bekah and I enjoyed singing and leading worship. The kids loved it, too. Lots of Jesus Culture and Eddie James!

We had a lot of fun leading worship through song and dance. The kids enjoyed getting hyped up for Jesus too. I remember how THICK his presence was in the evenings before worship! :) Children were set FREE from bondage, saved and filled with the holy spirit. It was an amazing move of God. Much prayer was manifested!



Our young men of God worshiping through dance. ^^^




Our worship and dance team with some junior counselors- having the honor of being the forerunners to start an official kids and youth worship team!





Kids Camp 2011 Group Picture^^




I really was able to learn a lot from this myself. Staying in the girl's bunk lodge, I worked with girls ages 10-12 and I learned a lot about how to talk to them and lead them. I helped explain the holy spirit and prayer to them and I was able to help them with their memory verses each day. Each girl was important to me and I continually pray that they further themselves in him even at such a young age. I pray that God would call them up into their places of prayer and worship and that they find their identities in him- that they will NEVER be the same because of how God encountered them at this camp!
On the last night our youth leader Mrs. Blonda called some of the prayer people to the back of the assembly hall in which children who desired the holy spirit and salvation went to be prayed for. I layed hands on a couple of them and some were instantly filled! I encouraged the others that God would put that prayer gift inside of them and that they could all go home and spend time with him in his raw presence... Before services our worship team would pray for the service and that God's true, RAW presence would fill the room and that it would be thick an tangible, And it WAS! The Shekinah glory fell on the place!