I can say that although I spent my entire Spring Break cleaning, gathering things to host a yard sale, having a two day yard sale, church, youth dance practices and watching The Hunger Games, I've realized a lot of things that I didn't expect.
Some of it wasn't very favored... I simply often get discouraged living in the family situation that I'm currently in, although it could be worse. What others see on the outside isn't even a short story of what things are really like, and it upsets me sometimes, so as imperfect as I am, I come off more harshly than I intend or get angry when things take a turn for the worst and take it out on others. When I get mad or come off a certain way, I feel like I'm left not knowing what to do, feeling like a jerk who doesn't know what to do with their emotions. All I can do is apologize to others, repent and move on from that- try to change the way I respond instead of staying the same and reacting the same way. I won't be brought down. All I know is that I'm alive, here for a purpose, and I have to keep worshiping Jesus every day and living a life of love. I won't be perfect, but I can only try.
God really made some financial miracles happen this weekend... I remember sitting in my room that one night, just chilling with some worship music on and thinking, then I started talking to God and venting to him. I told him that I didn't know how I was going to get $600 by July to go to Awakening Teen Camp in Kansas City. I felt so discouraged, always feeling like because my family wanted to be content having "just enough" to survive. But I was sick of it. I knew if I gave extravagantly that I'd reap extravagantly. The one place in the word where God asks us to put him to the test- to GIVE MORE and to see if he didn't pour out so much blessing that we couldn't contain it, is in Malachai 3. It was like he was saying "Didn't I say this in my word? What makes you think I wouldn't provide for you the desires of your heart if I provide the necessities for you to survive? I keep my promises."
He made a promise. He said it in the word, so I believe it. I said, "You know what God? I don't want to just go to ATC Music Camp. I also want to go to ATC session 2."
Total Cost- $1,200.
But you know what? God never breaks his promises.
So I went out on an intense job search, babysat, made money, gave well over 10% because I knew I'd get more back (another promise he made) and I made enough money this weekend to buy a round-trip plane ticket and to give 20% and to even go to the movies and have some left over to get stuff for other people. I only have $990 left.
His word never returns void. I just have to hold onto this promise and work toward it.
Bring it on.
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