|| Let Hope In ||: Looking forward to this year.

The past two weeks have literally flown by and school starts back tomorrow. I wish that things didn't have to go back to their normal rhythms of school, work, homework, repeat. But maybe it doesn't have to.

I didn't realize how drained I was until we reached Ramp and I was able to recharge my heart. Before I went, I knew it was going to be different and I was expecting something new. Basically This retreat was very much like eating a feast after living off of little food for a while- except the good thing is that you never get too full, and beforehand I was eating little by choice.
Readers, if you don't know me well, know that I tend to spend a lot of time and energy trying to figure things out. I always think about life, and "Why?" I spent some time wondering why God wanted me there this year and I was determined to find out. I spent a lot of time asking him questions about things and receiving answers- answers that weren't really my job to figure out in the first place, but answers that I needed to seek him to find. And I still have answers that I need to seek him to find. He reminded me of callings he put inside of me for a reason. He reminded me that he's holding me in all things.
One big thing I learned is that our walk with him is like a spiral staircase- like the staircase in Solomon's house, and like the DNA inside of us. We weren't mind to be "Backsliding Christians" and we aren't. On a staircase, you choose to walk up the stairs or down the stairs. Spiral staircases ascend, and once you go up, you don't go back down unless you choose to turn around and go back down. Going up, your legs will start getting sore and it will not be easy. The easiest thing to do would be to turn around and go down, or to sit down on one of the steps and wait for someone to carry you. Our walk with him will ascend in an upward spiral when we make it.
God also reminded me to spend more and more time with him. Leaders spend a lot of time in God's presence, and they spend a lot of time communicating with God on a personal level and receiving from him. That's why when they speak, prophecy, evangelize, or whatever they may do, right results come out, because they've sought the heart of the Lord and they made their heart his heart. What fulfills God fulfills them. What God sees is what they desire to see. And so they really get to know him to be one with him. I want to be a leader, and I want to know the real, living true God. Not the God that the American church puts on display.
Another thing I have determined to strengthen this year is boldness. My worship leaders have given me a new position playing on the pads (a small keyboard consisting of sustaining notes and chords) and I'll soon be adding singing into that. I want to be bold. I want to prophecy through my instrument because I know that I know that I KNOW that God has called me to be a prophetic musician and I want to fulfill that calling. But if people can't hear me or if I'm not bold enough to pour my heart into it and release the sounds he's put inside of me, how will things shake or change? I choose to step out.

During this trip God also blessed me with a lot of support for my trip to Kenya. Walking around this conference with a can hanging from my backpack was a better idea than I thought. At first the only people that had put any change in it was people from my youth group, but by the last day I had random people coming up to me asking me about my trip and giving me money. God seriously rocks!

Now for some pictures. :)

Was very grateful to hang out with my friend Larissa before heading off to Chattanooga. She just returned from having gone to college in Spain for a semester and she shared a lot of stories about how God impacted her life there and the lives of others! I loved it! You can check her out at www.larrisanspain.blogspot.com

Rocking the hip status. That can tied to my backpack is going to be my new companion for the next couple months until I get all of my money raised for Africa. So if you happen to see it in school, don't be afraid to drop in a couple pennies... :)