S.A.V.E, justice, and worship.

I suppose I should start with Friday night and how awesome God was at the SAVE worship night. So I will share this story with you. Tighten your belt, because this post is about to get intense.

The surprising thing is that it wasn't mainly the worship that moved me this time.

To be truthful, the testimonies that a few girls shared in front of everyone were very intense and heart-moving, and it was brave of them to share what they did. I know how difficult it is to open up to others about things you don't prefer to share. However, This specifically wasn't what shook me that night.

We watched the documentary S.A.V.E (Sustaining A Villiage Everyday, which was started by a group of students to support a town in Haiti) had put together from their Haiti trip this past summer.
The reality is that ten teenagers raised $27,000 for this tiny town in Haiti because God called them to and gave them what they needed. He just needed people that said YES to what he was calling them to do. And so these ten teenagers put their hand to work and said Yes to God and to greater purposes. And so there, in this tiny town in Haiti, was built a fresh water well for the first time ever. A fresh water well for people with no hope and literally nothing but the torn clothes on their back, the one small meal in their bellies and the leaky shelter ontop of their head that they're still grateful for.

To be completely truthful, what struck me the entire night and shook the very core of my being was the statistics shown in the documentary.
On the left a tiny red percentage of the profit in Haiti and their income, and here on the right side is America, the U.S.A, the land of the free and the home of the brave, which was about twenty times the size of the bar next to it.
I can't remember the numbers but they were drastic.
And I remember feeling this disgusting feeling inside and wanting to stand at the top of the empire state building and scream "WHAT ARE WE DOING, AMERICA!? WHAT IS FREEDOM!?"
We're wasting our money on crap like Jersey Shore, basically people who sit around and do nothing but party and "live it up" with everything they could ever want and buy stuff they don't need when there are people dying in a country that is closer to the east coast than California. To be blatantly honest.
I couldn't help but to cry. So close to one of the the richest countries in the world is the only 4th world country that is full of sick and dying people who have literally nothing. Food is so readily available to us and is an easy fix here in the states, but to them?

Here are some more statistics if you're interested.

http://haitipartners.org/who-we-are/haiti-statistics/

I remember after the video went off it seemed like everyone else was sucked back out of it. Happy music played at the end, and when it was over everyone clapped (not for the statistics, but for what the group had done). Then we jumped back into worship.

But I couldn't concentrate on the moment,
 because I felt like someone had damaged me on the inside.

I made some new friends that night, bonded with the friends I went with, prayed for some friends, and we had a lot of God-talk. But when I went home, I found myself sitting on my bed and quickly realizing that I couldn't do anything or think anything without feeling the weight of what was happening in a place closer to my home than California sink my heart.

I couldn't smile and pretend everything was okay after watching that, because it's not.
Nothing is okay when they're hurting.
It's not that I feel guilty for having money or living in America, but I felt disgusting for being selfish and for not even bothering to research what things are like over there. I felt awful for ignoring the facts and pretending that everything is okay in my own small world. But beyond the gates of Murfreesboro is a bigger world. Beyond the U.S and the east coast are lands that we could never dream. Some are richer and others are so poverty stricken that we couldn't bear it.

I paced around for the next couple of days wondering what to do with myself. I prayed about it and still felt this heaviness. I've never left the country and I feel this heaviness for these people I don't even know that are hungry and poor. I even got mad at myself and was confused and asked God, "Why am I here in my own comfort when they're sick and dying over there? Why didn't you call me to be a missionary and to live in other countries to help these people, God?"

The fact of the matter is that not everyone is called to live on the mission field. However, we're called to spread the gospel to every nation, and we're called to 24/7 Worship and 24/7 Works of Justice. This may include going on a trip out of the country to serve somewhere far away. Or perhapse it's rebuilding homes in your own city. Whatever the cost, whatever the calling, we're all called to serve God and to serve people. I've determined to give to the poor for the rest of my life and to sow into nations in need.

And to share something that I don't typically share publicly, I felt him whisper some things in my heart. He told me that it's okay. That I have only barley skimmed what he has called me to and that there is so much more about to open up in front of me.
He reminded me how not everyone in the world can be a full-time missionary among nations just like not everyone can be a prophetic musician.
For there are injustices in the earth.
There are hungry bellies, empty pockets, roofless homes, naked children, and dirty water.
But another ultimate injustice in the world is that our God isn't being universally worshipped.
And right now, we're living in a time of a worship revolution.
He also told me that when they (the people of the earth; the blind and the deaf) hear the sound of heaven- the very heartbeat of God, through the sound of worship- the songs of the prophetic musicians, they'll hear  he cries of the hungry and the poor. And they will spring fourth to fight for them.



1 Peter 4:10

Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God's grace in its various forms.



http://www.facebook.com/TeenSAVE

Home.

This is the song of the week, and one of my new favorites.







It's very good to be home after such a treacherous month. (I'm kidding when I say treacherous, but at the same time it's been very exhausting.) Now is the time to relax and wrap Christmas presents and listen to Christmas music and watch TV and catch up on some reading. I'm glad that we get to spend this first Christmas in our new house. There's so much room to do thing. Past Christmases were a little hard, but out of every house we've ever bounced in and out of, this house really feels like home.
 And I think that we'll be here for a very long time.

I'm feeling the need to spend time with God and fill my heart up over the break, especially before and during  the Ramp retreat. We can always come as we are and God will pour into us when we open up to receive his love, but there's just something about coming hungry and craving more as much as there's something about coming empty and broken. Either way, God is faithful. I remember how I used to respond to every altar call (the altar call for repentance or backsliding from God) because everytime I went on youth retreats or conferences there was always something wrong or some empty feeling in me that I never dealt with. But one year there was an altar call and I felt in my heart that I didn't need it at that time. I was suppose to stay in the same spot and just worship and pray for the people going to the altar. I would be part of the ones in the back that didn't feel the need to go. I'm not saying that I never need the altar, because I am not perfect. But the truth is that I didn't need to respond to every altar call and go back home and do the same thing over and over again. It's a significant growing point. The definition of repentance is "the turning away from" and so I turned away from the things that were putting me in the same hole, and very soon, things changed. It was finally a bad habit of insanity that I grew away from with the help of God.

Other than that, I say that the itch for adventure is still in me. I'm excited to travel again, even if it's only 2 hours away, to be with my Ramp family again. I'm excited to climb mountains. I'm excited to possibly go snowboarding, and I'm excited for phenomenal encounters with God to come during this retreat and life-changing things, and I'm excited for 2013. With some much needed time with God, friends and family in store for the next few weeks, it's time to make it the best.

The Prayer of the Weary

Dear God,

Midterms have tested me in great measures this past week. It has really tested my patience, and at the same time between struggling to study, I've struggled with comparison. It's during these times of walking on thin ice that I'm the most vulnerable and easily thrown off course. Help me not to compare myself to others. Just because I don't have patience, brain capacity, and can't endure long hardcore hours of studying doesn't mean that I am useless to you, and I have blinded myself to that fact over the course of the past few weeks. You love me through my weaknesses. You love me when I constantly lose and misplace things. You love me even when I forget things and have to write them down. You love me when I throw my book across the room after doing homework for two hours and decide to sleep instead of finishing it, and then you love my for making a bad grade on a quiz the next day because I didn't finish my homework. You love me when I'm not who I want to be or who you want me to be. You love me when I screw up and when I'm irresponsible, even when I pretend that I'm not. I yield my heart to you and ask you to forgive me, here in public so that when people hear me trying to compare myself again they'll punch me in the face (maybe something a little lighter than that, lol). Help me to spend more time with you and less time with myself. Help me to give more so that I can fulfill the calling and the plan you have for my life. Help me distort the mediocre, because even though I pretend to be like everyone else, I never will be. I accept that I'm different and that I won't fulfill the status quo because I was born for something more than trying to be like others. Help me define music in a new way. Put me in others' paths to cheer them onward to win the race. Put me at your feet because I've counted everything else as loss and have concluded that I'm useless for anything else other than living for you and worshipping you. Because when the door of eternity is standing wide open before our very eyes, it will be just you and I, and nothing else will matter. Form me in your way as the potter shapes the clay.

Love,
Hannah

This Weekend of Impact

I woke up bright and early this morning, knowing and expecting the anointing of God to fall in our sanctuary today as it faithfully does each Sunday morning at Word and Spirit. Everyone has worked long and hard for the past two months preparing what was going to happen today. I can't even describe the feeling I had last night when we finally went through the entire drama once without messing up or having to stop. After a long, hard four hour practice, the presence of God came and we finally got it down because we were worked in unity. And I can't even begin to describe the amazing anointing that preceded those practices this morning in our church sanctuary.

 Our drama was called "Simple Devotion". My youth pastor saw it at The Ramp when we went this past summer, and she felt the holy spirit tell her that this is what we needed to do. I completely understand the purpose now. I had a lot of questions at first. The drama is about Angels, and about how when we sit down and spend time with God and intercede (pray for other people), we have not only the Lord listening to us so intently and lovingly, but he has sent us angels to work on our behalf for us to send forth in any given situation. Truthfully, I didn't know a lot about the topic. I didn't have any scripture to back it up and the entire idea was sketchy and confusing to me. It isn't that I didn't believe in angels, but I didn't understand their purpose other than to worship God like they do in Revelations. "Why do we need angels to go do things for us when we have the holy spirit?" was one of my biggest questions. "If someone is in need and we pray for them, doesn't God provide that for them and minister to them?"

At first I was totally stoked about getting a big part, but then after the first few practices I started getting frustrated with it because I didn't completely understand it. And finally when Peewee/Edgar and I were practicing our parts I had to ask him about it. I asked him what angels did and what the scriptures were. I didn't expect the elaborate explanation he gave me, but I'm so thankful for him and for what he told me. He is very wise and he knows the word; grew up on it basically. In the end he narrowed it down to it being a spiritual drug deal (haha, seriously though). 
When we pray for others, the angels are like ministering spirits God has given us to work on our behalf. Like pretty much they do the work and God does the work through them. We intercede, God sends his angels as messengers. 
If you think about it, without angels, how would our intercession even be effective? How would our prayer get around the world, across pathways?

The idea seemed farfetched to me at first, but I feel like I finally got a revelation of it through this dance. When I prayed about it, found scripture for it and when it all finally came together in the end, it clicked. There's so much I still don't even know. What frustrated me was that I had the idea in my head, but not down in my heart. And now I have both, thanks to God and to my incredible dance team, youth group and youth leaders.

There's still so much to explain, but one can only understand it in their own experience with God revealing to them the prophetic, incredible, intense things that happen when our heart is one with his and when we faithfully trust in him and how things work. As Peewee told me, you can have angels backing you up whenever you want. You just have to believe it. So here's a tidbit of scripture I found.  

^"6 But when He again brings the firstborn into the world, He says:

“Let all the angels of God worship Him.”

⁷ And of the angels He says:

“Who makes His angels spirits
And His ministers a flame of fire.”

⁸ But to the Son He says:

“Your throne, O God, is forever and ever;
A scepter of righteousness is the scepter of Your kingdom.
⁹ You have loved righteousness and hated lawlessness;
Therefore God, Your God, has anointed You
With the oil of gladness more than Your companions.”

¹⁰ And:

“You, Lord, in the beginning laid the foundation of the earth,
And the heavens are the work of Your hands.
¹¹ They will perish, but You remain;
And they will all grow old like a garment;
¹² Like a cloak You will fold them up,
And they will be changed.
But You are the same,
And Your years will not fail.”

¹³ But to which of the angels has He ever said:

“Sit at My right hand,
Till I make Your enemies Your footstool”?

¹⁴ Are they not all ministering spirits sent forth to minister for those who will inherit salvation?"

 

Hebrews 1:6-14

Then I looked and heard the voice of many angels, numbering thousands upon thousands, and ten thousand times ten thousand. They encircled the throne and the living creatures and the elders.  
¹² In a loud voice they were saying:

“Worthy is the Lamb, who was slain,
    to receive power and wealth and wisdom and strength
    and honor and glory and praise!”

Revelations 5:11-12

These creatures that sing praises to God night and day in heaven are at our very command. If God created angels to worship him and to serve us, they aren't useless. What could all of this possibly mean? Well a lot of it is unexplainable, because it goes far above our heads. But he'll reveal it to us when we pray about it. He's so faithful :)

God is truly amazing. As always.

Now for some pictures!

Brehia rocks. :)

Yay for our first legit choir!

 These kids are seriously wack.

I am so glad to be a part of this church. It has changed my life and I know it's impacted the lives of others, including the four people that got saved/rededicated this morning. That was our purpose- so people could come to Jesus. Thank you Bill Adcock ministries. Thank you WSCLife and Fusion & On Fire Youth :)

I haven't caught a recording of our drama, but here's the original one done by the Ramp. Enjoy.

Have a lovely week. Seek him in the morning.

-Hannah

Opening up and Sharing your heart with others

Take My Heart by Misty Edwards. (This is really a phenomenal song...)












So many thoughts to pinpoint and try to organize. At least on a blog I can leave them scattered.



I want to start off by saying that this morning turned out a bit differently than I expected, but beautiful nonetheless. I hopped in Emily's car and off to the Slab we went, seeing a beautiful rainbow as we approached the annex. A sign of beauty, promise, and grace. What brought the beauty out this morning even more was listening to everyone open up this morning. I know that sounds cheesey, but some things are very difficult to open up about. Sloan asked us about grace being present in our lives- a time where we saw God's grace on us.
Listening is my favorite part about the Slab. But this morning was a morning I knew what God was encouraging me to share something personal, and I was hesitant and uncomfortable at first, but I shared. I shared about how God's grace broke through in me when I made the decision that I wanted to have his eyes of love for my brother. This was probably the scariest thing I've opened up to a group of people about. As if I uncovered a scar for all to see and told them the story that followed. A feeling of awkwardness and even slight shame of my past misbehavior crept over me, and something that I'm very quiet about being revealed to others made me feel like I was walking around with no clothes on for the first half of the day.


In case you didn't know, I'm going to give you a little insight on my brother. Harry is mildly autistic and functions like a normal person, but he's a little on the slower scale and needs help when it comes to daily routine and direction. He thinks and acts like an 8 year old in an adult's body. His personality is unique and even sweet, but his emotions are very unexpected. He's incredibly smart, and that's why sometimes I forget. Sometimes I treat him like a normal person/normal brother because he is so close to being normal and I'm a little harsher than I mean to be sometimes, and my mom has to remind me to say things differently. And so I learn everyday.

I remember sitting in the new living room with him on a quiet evening. I remember we got to talking about  Father figures in our family. He told me that if he had kids he would be the best dad ever. "I didn't have a good dad," he reminded me. "I guess that's why I don't really understand why God can be my dad."
When my very own brother told me this, I felt torn apart inside. It was at that point when he opened up to me that I realized that I've been around my brother all of my life and he seemed to have so many doubts about who God is because he never had a real father figure of his own. He didn't know what a Father figure even was. He didn't even know what the love of a father looked or felt like. And I knew that he certainly wouldn't see the love of God if I didn't love him with the love of God. I went back in my bedroom that night and I made the decision. I decided that I would be a better sister to a brother who didn't understand the love of the Father. I made the decision that I would love him, regardless of what he says or does, with the unconditional love of God and with the best love a sister could give, because unless I showed him the love of God, he wouldn't understand it. I made a change that night and I remember it now.

Harry has a guy that works with him every day named Dontay. I think I can officially say that Dontay is considered an adopted brother to us now. He's gotten really close to our family. You see, Dontay and I always have deep conversations when I tend to hang out with him and Harry after I get home from school every day. The other day it was about being yourself around people. After telling him that I loved to open up and share my God-experiences with others, he nodded, then said, "Yes, you open up with others and readily share your faith, love and past experiences with them, but do you share who you are on the inside?"
I didn't know how to answer then, and covered it up with a statement like "But those are the same thing,"
But now I have a real answer. No.
 No because of having opened up to people in the past and getting hurt over and over again. No because of what I felt this morning and how scared I was to open up about something that not many people knew about me, even if it wasn't that big of a deal. It was worse than the adrenaline rush I got when I first sang in front of a large group of people by myself. It was all me, some bitter and even numb feelings that I was guilty of, and something that people didn't expect from me but now know about me, even if it makes me feel  a little naked. (haha)
Nevertheless, God showed me tonight that this is the testimony. This is how to bond with people and reach out to others- share my heart with others, and not just my testimony, but something on the inside that I was scared to share at first but that changed the course of my day.

Perhapse it will change a life or inspire someone.

:)

Sharing much needed wisdom from a friend.

I was talking to a girl named Joy Marcum the other night. I met her at ATC this past summer and what she told me that night seriously changed the course of my week. God knew exactly what I needed to hear. Even when I'm not sitting with my eyes closed listening for his voice, he speaks through others. He's amazing. When I see people like Joy and another girl I met at ATC named Liv, and quite a few others, I want to know what God has put inside of them that made them that much in love with him, because I want to be in love with God that way. I want to desire it and pursue it with all of my heart. They live a wholehearted lifestyle dedicated to worshipping at the feet of Jesus and it's the most radical and real thing to see in a person; watching them be transformed every day by his love. I constantly pray and ask God for that desire all the time, especially after seeing people with such a fire and heat after him. When I said those words, I didn't say them lightly, and now when I'm reminded of what I asked, I remember that the desire is not light, but it is costly.

What Joy reminded me the other night was of the heart that Jeremiah had toward God. This is what she told me.



"God made us to walk in friendship with one another, so seek to to do that. But ultimately he made us for himself. We can't look to others to fill what only he can.

"When I discovered your words, I devoured them. They are my joy and my heart's delight, for I bear your name, O LORD God of Heaven's Armies. I never joined the people in their merry feasts. I sat alone because your hand was on me. I was filled with indignation at their sins." 
Jeremiah 15:16-17


"When I was going through this process of having to leave behind friendships God spoke this verse to me. I picture Jeremiah as if he were in high school... haha. And all the kids are bustling around and sitting together and laughing and having and "good ol time" talking about wrong things, and there is Jeremiah... all alone... with his bible... weeping over the word. His love for truth and desire to be the friend of God caused him to have to give up friendships with those who did not love the truth.
He was marked by God, set apart.

That is a glorious thing, to be chosen to be the friend of God, but it comes at a high cost."




I couldn't explain it in any better terms than how Joy explained it to me. Every person has the ability to be a friend of God, but the truth is that closer we get to him, the farther we get from the popular culture, and the farther we stray from acceptance of man. Although we like acceptance among people, would we rather have the acceptance of man over the love of the eternal God; the only one who can eternally satisfy your heart? It can be a lonely road sometimes and it is a high cost, but it should not be filled with fear of failure or loneliness. He isn't going to leave us hanging. He's going to send us the "cloud of witnesses" in Hebrews 12- the people to cheer us on and give us sound wisdom and encouragement and love. He will give us good friendships and he will supply us with our needs when we trust him. It's so important to be marked with the seal of love for God, and it is a decision and a marking that cannot be taken away or replaced. His glory, the justice for people, and his love is our reward.



Song of the day: Divine Romance by Phil Wickham. (If I posted this already, it just deserved a second dedication. It's such a great song.)

I have another friend that is moving away by the end of this month. Praying for the best for her and her family. She's really sweet and deserves all the blessings God has in store for her.

I choose to trust God because he knows what's best more than I do.


Have a blessed week, guys.
                                     -Hannah

Come Thou Fount

Come thou fount of every blessing
Tune my heart to sing thy grace
Streams of mercy never ceasing
Call for songs of loudest praise
Teach me some melodious sonnet
Sung by flaming tongues above
Praise his name I'm fixed upon it
Name of God's redeeming love

O to grace how great a debtor
daily I'm constrained to be
Let thy goodness like a fetter,
bind my wandering heart to thee
Prone to wander Lord I feel it,
prone to leave the God I love
Here's my heart, O take and seal it,
seal it for thy courts above


Here's my heart, O take and seal it, seal it for thy courts above.

There's this hill out toward the Kittrell area, where I used to live. I remember being a little kid and going to play on the school play ground, and when I would swing on the swingset I'd close my eyes and pretend I was flying, and then I would open my eyes and see the familiar hill, (I thought it was a mountain, of course) not too far off, but far enough to where I would see it and know that an adventure to this giant hill awaits. And ever since then I've wanted to climb it. I've never climbed a mountain. And I know it isn't a mountain, but maybe it's big enough to where I can pretend like it's a mountain. I don't even know who it belongs to, but maybe if I ask they will let me climb their giant hill. There's a small patch of trees on the top of it, but the rest of it is just grass and I've longed to just stand at the top of it and see what the world looks like. I've wanted to do this for so many years, but every year goes by and I don't seem to have a way to get there. I used to ride by and look for a path to climb it, and one day I found one. It's so easy. The opportunity is right there...

I suppose what I'm really waiting for is someone to share it with.
And so that's what I pray for my birthday this year.
A friend or two to go on a journey with
no matter who
so we can just climb this random hill
and forget about everything else for a little while.

Giving praises of thanksgiving...

How we post on Instagram:

 

How we are in real life:

 

For starters, I want to say that Matthew seriously has no idea how proud of him I am. He has come a long way. I know he's turning 13 in just a couple of weeks, but seriously. I remember when he used to poop his pants. It's so weird looking at him now and not seeing him as I saw him when he was 7, with his big ears and small head and obsession with video games (he never lost that).  I pray that he yields his heart to God more over these next years. It's weird sometimes because looking at him and how he sort of shadows me is like a reflection of myself and how I would shadow Billy. I feel like I see similar changes happening in him that happened to me although we're different people. I hope he encounters God in ways he could never imagine. He needs it more than anything.  He's going through a lot right now. Him and Emily (who I am also proud of) and my sister both. I pray for them often and pray that things get better. 

Even with circumstances as they are, yesterday made for a great holiday. Everyone cleaned, waited/helped cook, set the food out, ate, put the Lorax on and fell asleep, had a tickle fight and laughed. My family isn't really like most families, but that's okay. God put me here for a reason, and everyone is different. I wouldn't want to have anyone else. Sitting at the table yesterday I felt like I realized that I was sitting with my best friends. Although I have built many friendships over the years, no one can replace my family no matter what, because they have always been there and we've seen eachother at our worst and best. Nothing is perfect in our family and that's quite alright with me.

How mom acts in the kitchen as she listens to 80's music while cooking:

How Matt and Emily constantly play in the fireplace then act like they weren't:

Clearly this turkey was too sexy for a picture, but I got one anyway before Matt grabbed it.

A perfect picture of how we commonly treat eachother:

Random old picture I found of Matthew and I on Myspace...

Thank you Jesus for an awesome break and an awesome holiday season to come.

Love Hannah

Keep Calm and Keep Seeking.

Valley Song Lyrics

You have led me to the sadness
I have carried this pain
On a back bruised, nearly broken
I'm crying out to you
 

 I will sing of Your mercy
That leads me through valleys of sorrow
To rivers of joy

When death like a Gypsy
Comes to steal what I love
I will still look to the heavens
I will still seek your face

But I fear you aren't listening
Because there are no words
Just the stillness and the hunger
For a faith that assures

Alleluia, alleluia
Alleluia, alleluia

While we wait for rescue
With our eyes tightly shut
Face to the ground using our hands
To cover the fatal cut

And though the pain is an ocean
Tossing us around, around, around
You have calmed greater waters
Higher mountains have come down


Alleluia, alleluia
Alleluia, alleluia

Oh, Lord sing of Your mercy,
Mercy
Your mercy...

 

It took me until tonight to realize why I heard this song this morning. At first it just sounded good, but then I listened to it a few more times before the words sunk in. Before I started singing them. Before the confession started coming out of my mouth and before I started speaking these words over my circumstances.

It's been a day full of asking questions. Lots of questions and wanting lots of answers. A day with a hurt heart when I remember how things used to be and asking why they aren't the same. But the answer is just patience.
The answer is seeking him instead of seeking the solution to every problem.

The answer is singing praises even when you're in the valley so that he can bring you to the rivers of joy...



"Hear, O Lord! When I cry with my voice! Have mercy also upon me and answer me.
When you said,
"Seek my face,"
My heart said to you
"Your face, Lord, I will seek."
-Psalm 27:7-8

"Awake, my glory!
Awake, lute and harp!
I will awaken the dawn."
-Psalm 57:8

In the silence you are speaking...

On Fire Youth, from then until now.

From 2008 until now, here's the journey of OFY.


Year 1, back in the Barfield Gym.

First youth retreat to The Ramp in winter of 2008. Changed my life.

 

Group picture ^

 

 

This one made me laugh :)

 Radical worship.

 When I opened up my heart, he started speaking to me.

  The days we'd just lay out in the floor and pray as one.

Youth camp 2009

 Awesome prayer meetings. Getting set free.

 Some scavenger hunt pictures :)

This guy has no clue how much I miss him.

We built the church building in October of '09.

(skipping a few trips)

Youth camp 2011

 Great rides on the trailer hitch :)

 Trying to figure out who has bigger muscles(?)

 My Hannie before she decided to run off to Lee. ;)

 Unloading the truck to prepare for an awesome week.

Late nights worshiping and listening to the word

(More skipping)

Ramp group for 2011-2012

More skipping...

Katie and I :) (Left is Youth camp '11... right is last week)








Monday night I realized how much I needed to get back in sync with my prayer life and with re-connecting my heart to our church.
Here's my honest heart.
I've been frustrated with our youth group for the past four years
 When I first came to youth I thought it was the coolest thing since sliced bread. I remember everyone and everything- there was about 20 of us, and I remember how we all generally got along and would have these worship nights where we would be in the church office until 2 in the morning. It was the biggest revival in such a small youth group. I remember when I first came, scarred and broken and hurt from being bullied, they pulled me in with an open heart and open arms. It was the love of Christ- a love I had encountered as a child in worship, but not through people, and it changed my heart forever. After we moved into the new building, not only did half of the youth group leave because they either graduated, got bored and left or became an adult, but it's almost like we lost that fire along with those people... we really had a rough spot because of the change. Things generally stayed the same until we went through a ton of changes this past year within the our church, like the new worship team, small groups, the youth group splitting middle and high school, the overflowing of kids classrooms and the rapid growth of our church. Now that the kids classes have over-flowed we're all in the church office again.
It would frustrate me at times because everyone in the high school group seemed so bored, like everyone was just there out of routine. It made me want to go sit in the middle school class because seemed to have more fun than we did. I had to sit down and talk to Jesus about it. I was like "God, why does everyone seem so bored? What changed? Why did we lose our fire?"
Instead of answering me in one word, I felt him just showing me. When I started to pray about the season, it's like he flooded my heart with light and gave me a hope and a faith that things are going to change and keep changing forever. This boredom and frustration was just a small part of a small season that is over now. But things will always change. Things are going to turn upside-down after this winter season. I already know it. Not just because we're going to the Ramp for the hundreth time. But we have a new group that's had its changes, and we're hungry for more of God's love. Things aren't like they used to be. The rough season is over and the fog is beginning to clear. Whatever God has in store for us this season, I pray that it sheds a light brighter than we can comprehend. I pray that we tap into things that will change our hearts forever- not just as a group, but individually. 

God is good and things are going to be shaken this season- through the Christmas program, the new activities, and the retreat.

He makes all things new and beautiful. I believe it with all my heart....


Thank you for your prayers and views. Have a blessed week. He loves you.

Serving him; Love always
Hannah Noelle

Embracing what he's put in our path.

So here comes the winter season. Still getting used to the cold weather. Remembering what's important in the middle of a busy week. Remembering to always put God first and embrace who he as put in my pathway.

Firstly, I want to start by writing about how crucially awesome God is. Our small church was built four years ago on the side of Shelbyville highway after eleven years of taking refuge in Barfield Elementary school. We had a big fat piece of land next to the land we built on, and the man who owns the land promised to sell it to us for $220,000. As our church of about 150 fervently prays for a while and continues to pay off our current building, bills, and other activities within the church, this guy suddenly drops the price by $70,000. HOLY POO. That's like, a $70,000 offering. And he says he'll sell it to us for $150,000 so long as we get it together within a month. THAT'S POCKET CHANGE. We've got this. God is seriously awesome!
We're going to buy the land and expand the church...
This is... well, change!

To be completely honest, It was scary watching everything change. Although it was cool and a huge blessing, it was really uncomfortable, but then this past year our church went under a serious revolution of change as far as routine, getting the worship team together, splitting up the kid groups and the middle and high schoolers and adding small groups and digging into new topics... it seriously rocked. Because of that time of what we'd call "pruning" our church body went through some seriously needed growth and it brought us to an awesome place. And now with some new buildings at our finger-tips and an expansion bigger than we can even imagine, things are really going to flourish and change within the next few years. I don't know how it will look, but God knows and has it all planned. It's going to be great.


The Slab was good this morning- the ride with Emily H. and her awesome jeep, the teaching by Emily D. (who really hates pennies) and getting to listen to everyone else in the group share. We're all learning to embrace what God has put in our path even if it makes us uncomfortable. It's awesome learning how to get out of the box and try new things, because it's all a part of shaking routine up every once in a while so God can reach in different places through us. He's so good. :)

It's not too late for you...

[Song of the Week: Come Away by Jesus Culture]








I'm going to write about something I was challenged with yesterday.

I know this sounds kind of odd, but I've been thinking about peer pressure lately. This is the year in high school that everyone gets swamped with going out and partying and getting in trouble, all a part of trying new things. I'm all up for trying new things and being independent and my own person.... but I know that I could never bring myself to do anything like that...
I don't think it makes me better than those people, and I don't judge people who do that stuff, but thinking about it I've come to realize different things...
I'm the youngest person at my job, so I frequently hear about partying  and all of the things associated with it. Some say that when they were younger it was the best because they were always sneaking out and getting in trouble. I kinda just stand there. There isn't much that I can say because I haven't done any those things. I'm not going to be the jerk who sticks their nose up in the air and turns their back on those people because they disagree with their actions, because I want to be open to everyone so that I can reach out and touch their hearts. This may sound stupid, but I even began to question myself. I don't want to seem like the boring one around people because I never go out and have fun. I do have fun in ways that I feel is worth it. I've never tried anything. I've never tried getting in trouble or smoking pot of playing around with sex like most other people my age. Why not? Why do people find enjoyment in these things, and why are they seen as wrong to do? Why haven't I done anything? Why can't I start?

So I thought about this for a long time, and the longer I thought about it, the more I realized how much I can't give in to much of anything...
 I am going to be honest with all of you, even though it may make me look like a weakling. Think what you want of me, I don't care.

The second I tell a lie, the guilt seriously sinks into my heart and will remain until I ask God for forgiveness and tell the truth. The moment I start arguing with my mom or the second I say things that I don't mean to her and turn around and go in my room, it hurts until I apologize and try to fix it. The moment I tried to date someone without my mom's permission or God's permission, the guilt ate away at me for weeks on end until that relationship was cut off.
I know that if I were to do something that is blatant disobedience to God, It would cut off my relationship with him. And the second that would happen, I would probably just... I don't know, wither up and die. Seriously.
I can't trade the encounters I've had with him and his love for what people see as fun. I can't live in the moment when I've caught a glimpse of eternity and holiness. I can't trade my passion to serve such an overwhelmingly beautiful God and who pours his love and blessings on me forever as I serve him for the shiny and fun things the world has to offer... I can't. If anyone would try holding up a blunt in front of my face telling me to have some fun and try it, the initial impulse and question would be "Why not?" but in the back of my mind, the pain of tearing a relationship with a God so awesome and heart-moving would make me turn around and walk away.
I've spent too many long hours before his face to want anything else...
I don't want anything else. I have no desire to lose him. I've become completely wrecked for anything else than living for him.

I used to see people just like this, and I wanted it so bad. I wanted to encounter a love so deep that I wouldn't want anything else, because I used to live for myself. I've given into some things that weren't right in my past, but I took the route of Change.
So I sat before the feet of him and cried and worshiped in those conferences and in our church sanctuary and even in my bedroom, and asked him for it. And he gave it to me. And if there's anyone else out there who is sick of living for themselves and who wants to be marked with the loving presence of God, you can have it. It may be costly, but it's worth every second in his loving presence. It's worth every moment being eternally satisfied and fulfilled. You won't have to search endlessly for fulfillment. And if you've messed around with things, it's not too late for you, and it never will be. You will forever and always have a God with open and loving arms ready to embrace you. He loves you no matter what you've done, thought, or seen. But in order to really have him, he wants you first. He wants your desires, your possessions, your time, and he wants you...

Do you really want Him?

Flashback

Tonight I take a look back on an experience that forever changed my life the moment I set foot on Kansas City grounds a little over a year ago. I didn't even set foot on the ground before I knew that something was there for me. I knew God was drawing me to the House of Prayer after they held a Onething conference in Nashville two years in a row (2010-2011). I knew it when I heard the sound that was in their music that people called "prophetic". I didn't know what that was or what it meant, but I knew that something was there and that the holy spirit was all over it. There was something I had to get from this place- this tiny prayer room in the middle of Grandview, Missouri (and if you've never been to Grandview, let's just say it's smaller than Murfreesboro and there isn't much to look at). When I first went a year ago, I had been hit with some hard decisions and persecution in that same week. This was my escape- to go to Kansas City and figure out why God wanted me to go there. After that first visit I knew I was bound to go back. And after the second visit (this past summer) I knew I was bound to go back again... and maybe again...
I don't know if this is where I want to go to college... but I do know that before we left on the last day of camp, when everyone was in the prayer room and was beginning to shove their notebooks and bibles in their backpack and head out the door to leave, I felt myself beginning to cry. Not because of prayer, but because I felt like I was leaving this place behind that I felt I could live at forever. But I knew it was time to go. I miss it now. I don't know when I'm going back. I want to go for New Years so bad. Everyone at church is asking why I just don't go to the Ramp with the youth group, but they don't seem to get it...

I'll be back soon.

Keep singing, even when it's raining...

Keep singing.
Even when it looks like things aren't going to be the same

Just keep singing

When no one else wants to anymore,

when all hope seems lost.

Keep singing

even if you're singing 

in the rain.

Even if you're singing 

by yourself 

Honestly, I've felt really down since 7th period today. 

I love singing with people and I love having fun while we're doing it. It really pains me that things are out of sync though. Whatever is out of sync, I know that it's something that goes beyond a different teacher. Something that goes beyond a different and new group. Something beyond different standards. Maybe it's everyone. Maybe we've just got to get motivated and be happy or something. I don't want to feel a negative atmosphere whenever I walk into the classroom anymore. I've let it get to me lately, and for the past few classes I've walked out feeling worse than when I walked in. Singing is totally not suppose to make you feel that way and it's definitely not why I wanted to be in Chamber Choir! Singing is something that is positive and expressive. Isn't that what singing is all about? Expressing yourself and sharing something with the people around you? Even when you sing a sad song, you're releasing something from the inside of you and expressing your heart in such a way that you can express no other way. Last year things were great, but it wasn't just because we had a different teacher. There's something else that made things the way they were, and something else that cause everything to change from then to now. I wish I could pin-point it, but it's more complicated than a simple answer. I pray that this phase passes over and that things get better and that things are okay. I can't stand hopeless situations, because shouldn't exist. Ever. There's always hope for things to get better and I feel like that's something we toss around and throw away easily...

 I want to look forward to going to choir and singing with people and having fun, not being afraid to walk in because the sad and tense atmosphere in the room. Choir means a lot to me...

You Make Beautiful Things...

(Song of the Week) Beautiful Things by Gungor





When people ask me how I know that God and real, this is my one answer: Having the faith in him, trusting him, watching him do amazing things and sharing the testimony of that faith.
He's faithful, all the way through until the end. I know that this is a very redundant statement that comes out of my mouth, goes on my twitter, and something that I often post on here, but no matter how much I write it or say it, it will never measure up to how real and how good he really is. He is more than a void of air. He's more real than the sky above us or the ground beneath us. His very breath is what we are living in.

Press on when the journey is long. Press on when it gets difficult. Press on even when darkness is all around you. Press on even when there is not a light at the end of the tunnel. Press on even when you're tired of pressing and all you want to do is shut the world out and wade in this pool of melancholy and negativity. Because what will happen when you finally reach the other side is immeasurable. You will never know what the other side will look like until you press on, and once you reach the other side, you will see things you never knew you could before. You will see beautiful things, because he makes all things new and beautiful. He crafts beauty out of what was once a bare tree, waiting for Spring to come.

This is what I've come to learn within the past three months, after going through a season of winter. It's time for new things that I never expected to begin. Don't get caught up in the season, because there is an end to it and a beginning of something new when we're patient and ever pressing forward for more of his love and knowledge.
He answers when we call upon him. He is always speaking; we are to listen. He is always answering- we are to seek. He is always listening- we just have to knock.

Faith Triumphs in Trouble

Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

-Romans 5:1-5

I lift my eyes unto the Hills.

I didn't realize how much getting my wisdom teeth out would drain me, but it has. Soon enough routine will set in again, as much as it can.

One of the things I've been experiencing in my walk with God is getting to know other people and getting a wider perspective of who God is through them. Hearing their personal testimonies, stories, and building onto each other. This seems to be what is setting in for the year ahead, and even right now it's huge... I'm excited to see what else is going to happen in the near future. I know big things will only get bigger, because our God is truly amazing!

Decisions can be tough sometimes, but I know that he will never steer me wrong. So I'm trusting him and learning to do so more and more every single day, one step at a time.

Stepping out of our boxes and breaking out of the shell can be the most life-changing experience and the biggest step we could ever take. But unless we do it head-on, how will we know what can happen? How will we know how much God's glory will burst through unless we take that one step? Is it worth it?

Consistent Prayer is so vital. The stereotype is that it may be a bit much, but we don't really understand what it means to throw a few prayers up and then turn God off. It's time for an inner awakening, from the inside out. We have to let him breathe his breath of life into our hearts and keep in touch with him consistently every day, like a close friend. He is the closest friend we will ever have.

My words are few tonight. He has shown himself amazing to me even more this week, even through persecution that has caused me to be weary. But his presence refreshes and his love never fails.

Thank you for the encouraging words this week. Don't forget to lift someone up today as you go throughout your day. :)

"I will lift up my eyes unto the hills— 

Where does my help come from? 

 My help comes from the Lord,
Who made heaven and earth."

-Psalm 121:1-2