A New Devotion

[[Worship on Christmas eve was absolutely amazing. I felt a little out of my comfort zone at first, as anyone would, but I wasn't scared. I wasn't nervous. I was just worshiping God in front of people, giving my heart to him and expressing my love for him. It felt right, like I was suppose to be there. I'm praying that God continues to send us more musicians. I know it's his heart for this group to grow. It's exciting. :) ]]



I was in conversation with a friend the other night and after talking for a while we dove into an over-text bible study. The first thing that came to my mind while we were discussing how to reach groups of Christians that need help resisting sin in their daily lives was "Be careful what you feed into yourself as a Christian, because it will show in your daily living."

Romans 12:2 says "Be not conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind in Christ Jesus."

The only way we can really resist sin is by renewing our minds to the word of God. Simple devotions such as spending time in worship and in the word every day, before you go out and before you go to bed at night will help anyone when they're committed to doing it and setting their hearts toward God. The world feeds us trash every day. And the battle of sinning begins with a thought. When we're constantly feeding ourselves with trash, whether it is gossip, music that sings about sex and drugs or depressing things, or watching a TV show that isn't exactly appropriate, it's what we'll bear. The fruit we bear shows what we're constantly feeding ourselves or planting. It shows character. What we sow, we reap.

Matthew 5:27-30 talks about when a person sins for them to cut off the thing that causes them to sin. Of course it uses metaphorical terms such as stating "If your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off," but as my friend stated, "If it weren't metaphorical, there would be a lot of handless, eyeless amputees." (lol :)

The point is that if someone or something in your life is causing you to sin, you've got to cut it off. It's called "pruning" and we can't let that sin block us or hinder us from what God has in store for our lives. It won't keep you from sinning ever again, because we're imperfect. But it will help you to resist sin and better pursue God.

And finally....

"Flee also youthful lusts, but pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.
Avoid foolish and ignorant disputes, knowing that they generate strife.
And a servant of the Lord must not quarrel, but be gentle to all, able to teach, being patient, in humility correcting those who are in opposition if God perhaps will grant them repentance so that they may know the truth and that they may come to their senses and escape the snare of the devil, having been taken captive from him to do his will."
- 2 Timothy 2:22-26


As bold leaders who are taking a stand in ministry, whether it be in a church body, school group or just as people who love God and live for him, other people will come to us and tell us things we don't expect. They see how you're living, and they come to you because they know you have a heart for God. Sometimes people will tell you things you never wish you knew about them. But when we have a revelation of seeing other people through God's eyes, he gives us his love for them and gives us the words to say to help them. God's love is relentless and unconditional. And as people who follow God, we should pursue the same love for God and for people.





Just wanted to share that devotional. :)

My youth group and I are off to Dayton, Georgia tomorrow for the Winter Ramp 2011 conference. Best New Year’s ever. Have an awesome New Years everyone. :)

In the midst of Constant movement

For some reason, visiting the train tracks at the Greenway trail here in Murfreesboro is slowly but surely inspiring me to write something about them.


I remember a couple months ago when I took my first trip to IHOP-KC I felt the spirit of God drawing me there. He'd already told me that I was going to college there months before, but the fact that I stepped into the prayer room and felt the sacred drawing of works of justice and 24/7 prayer and worship planted me there. I knew this was where I'd be one day.
Listening to the archives from the Fascinate conference weeks before, I remember sitting in my sister's living room as we blasted a session of Jon Thurlow leading worship. He was playing the song I later discovered as "Fully in Love", and I remember hearing one of the singer's voices- a high tenor. However, all singers have a unique quality to their voice, especially when they sing to Jesus. This worship leader's voice was saturated with innocence and a pure love and devotion for Jesus. I had no idea who he was, but for months on and off I would wonder who that singer was. It eventually slipped my mind until I went to the prayer and prophetic conference at IHOP and heard this guy's voice again when Jon Thurlow was on set. I later found out that this worship leader was named James Kufeldt and that he leads sets in the prayer room sometimes. His music, like Jon Thurlow's, really opened a door for God to speak into my heart. I even found that he had a blog and read something that really spoke to me.


http://jameskufeldt.blogspot.com/2010/11/struggle-why-i-do-what-i-do.html

"I began to go through different options in my mind: I could go to college and get a degree in counseling and child psychology, I could come back to work with them and tell them of Jesus' love, I could give up everything to become an advocate for the orphan...

And in the muddle of all of my "coulds", the doubtful question surfaced: "What are you doing with your life?" With such injustice in the world, how could I justify spending the majority of my time and energy in a prayer room? As everything that I've done in the past four years came into question, I felt God speak to me, tenderly insistent:

"But James, the ultimate injustice is that My Son is not universally worshiped and adored."

If all wrong things were made right;
if every orphan were placed in a loving home;
if poverty and hunger ceased to exist;
if oppression and slavery were completely eradicated;
if crime came to a screeching halt;
would we then be content?"


When God told me I was suppose to go to Kansas City after I graduate high school, I got excited because I KNEW that's where my heart was, before I set foot on the ground. I had thought about going to MTSU or Belmont or something local here in Tennessee, and I thought "Oh, I'll become a writer or a psychologist or a counselor or teacher." or something. Or maybe a doctor or a secretary or someone who will make money and do something America deems as "great" in life. But after a full year of praying the plan of God out with my small group, I finally knew and understood that this was where God was leading me to go.
Try telling that to everyone who asks what career you're planning for your life.
"Oh yeah! I go to Oakland High School. Yeah, they do offer the International Baccalaureate program. Well, no, I'm not taking the full IB program that will get me into colleges like Harvard or Yale. I'm taking the IB english and IB music courses. MTSU? Nashville School of the Arts? Nah. I'm going to Forerunner Music Academy at IHOPU in Kansas City when I graduate. Accredited? I don't think they are. Scholarships? I'm not sure... IB Credits? I don't know if they accept those... a carrer? Well... I'll be leading worship and being a musician and a songwriter..."

...You get the point.

After thinking about this I became greatly concerned. I didn't worry, because I know God supplies my needs. But really when it came down to it, what was God going to do with my life? Would I take bible and music education and graduate and leave it at that? Then what would I do? Come back home or would I decide to stay in Kansas City? Why did God want me to go there in the first place? What is my purpose in become a worship leader- someone who can lead people into the presence of God, that isn't there just for a stupid performance, but to be used by God to bring fourth his glory in the end times...
My purpose is to worship him.
I could become anything I want to be, or anything America wants me to be...
but I would be miserable.
I want to be what God wants me to be.
I'm only Sixteen and have the rest of my life to discover who all I am in him. But now I know that in this hour, I've got to reach souls at my school. I've got to train to be a worship leader at my church and be a light and a leader for the Word and Spirit church kids and the youth group... and I've got to keep finding who I am in him. Worshiping him.


And if he wants me to sit at his feet and worship him for the rest of my life, I will do just that.
I will be one of the ones he set aside to bring the injustice of Jesus not being universally worshiped and adored brought fourth to justice as the Lord's generation has a revelation of who God is as their lover and creator.
I will love God with all of my heart, soul, mind and strength...
I will Do Justly.

With the eyes like a flame a of fire...

You are faithful and just to forgive us of our sins and faults.
You are faithful to hold us close to your heart.
You will never lead us astray. But closer to you.
The more we see your heart, the more we catch the vision.
You desire our hearts, and we desire yours.



"Let me walk with You on the narrow road
I know it may get lonely but I know Iʼm not alone
Iʼll seek You in the wilderness, I know thatʼs where You are
You whisper like the breeze, Youʼre speaking to my heart
You say...

Let me walk with You
On the Narrow road...
I know it may get lonely
but I know Iʼm not alone
Iʼll seek You in the wilderness,
I know thatʼs where You are
You whisper like the breeze,
Youʼre speaking to my heart...

You say
The wide gate looks so beautiful
but destruction is its end
Go against the stream, my friend
and stand where angels fear to tread

At Your feet I lay my crowns
With my tears I sow
into those who will one day
Know the glory of
the narrow road."
[Narrow Road- Rick Pino]



I knew of the Narrow road. But I never really knew what it was until I walked upon it.

Sometimes it felt as if I wouldn't make it. But the truth is that I can. Because I'm walking next to Jesus, and he's leading me.
It's hard not to run with everyone else. Get caught up in everything going on around us. Side-tracks are just what they are... they're temporary, existing only for temporary pleasure and to distract us. But there's a prize at the end of the race. And it's eternal.

When we're living a life fascinated in the love of God, living every single day in passionate devotion to him and the eternal consequences, the Narrow Road becomes no more difficult than loving God itself. Because when we're in a state of seeking him, everything else seems to dissipate. Because it's so magnificent. So life-changing. So genuine. Real love.

Reflect.

Out of everything I expected this time of year to be, I definitely didn't expect it to be like this.

We're given opporunities in life to either succeed or fail. To either make a mistake or make something amazing. Sometimes we're heeded by everything around us to be careful. We're heeded to not even take a risk, because it's better to be ignorant in he heart and mind than to risk he possibility of hitting rock bottom.

But if we don't take the risk, how will we know?
We won't.


The past three months have changed my life.
What happened these past few months wasn't a mistake,and I have no regrets.
They were amazing and they were absolutely terrifying. Like most new experiences. And now the memories and moments of that time are stored away in my heart and in my mind. Not to cling to. But to reflect on.
Sometimes my mind will try to rethink things, telling me "You can never have those moments back." And it makes me distraught...
But you know what?
That's okay.
I will live a life full of tests and trails. Of successes and failures. But I won't turn around. I won't run away.
Because in heaven when I sit at the feet of Jesus, broken before him
I know every step toward him will have been worth it. And this I am confident in...

When we keep pressing, when we don't give up- we win.

What you Listen to.

Living He loves me, Dying he saved me
Buried he carried my sins far away.
Rising he justified,
Freely forever
One day he's coming, Oh Glorious day.
Oh glorious day....

This is the song we're singing for the Christmas program. :) I'm so excited. A little disappointed that the youth group couldn't do a drama or something. But excited to get to sing with the kids and newly founded worship team. This is going to be awesome. And I get to do it again on Christmas eve except we'll be singing worship songs for the eve service...



Just this year I've been invited to a lot more parties than ever before... sweet 16's, other birthday parties, whatever they are or what they may be for. And I've noticed that even after hanging out with good friends, I come home feeling completely worn out, but most of all I feel spiritually drained. My friend Bekah always told me that she had a conviction about secular music, and that she wouldn't dance to it or listen to it in her car or anything. Of course at the time (about 3 years ago) I'm like "What the heck?" just thinking that the idea was strange and a bit overboard to me. I was set on fire for Jesus at 13 but I still listened to (and continue to this day) some of my favorites such as Linkin Park, Owl City, Coldplay, Rascal Flatts, Christmas music, a few select oldies, and others. I noticed my fondness for secular music dying down after my desire for Jesus increased. I'm a musician. And all I wanted to do was sing about him after encountering such a love I'd never seen before.
Some of what Relient K, Skillet, The Classic Crime and Hawk Nelson sing aren't ALWAYS about Jesus, but at the same time I'm not feeding myself with the filth most popular music has to offer today when they start singing about desire for death, sex, drugs, hatred of life, pointless junk, etc.
It glorifies sin. And while I don't particularly care to get in a car or get on the school bus or go to the mall or a party and hear to it, I still feel like a stink bomb was just dropped in my heart releasing all of this grossness that contradicts the word of God or has no meaning or whatever...

Do I like the catchy sounds of popular music? Duh!
"Everyday I'm shufflin'."
That's always fun to sing and dance to.

A GIRL singing "I kissed a girl and I liked it"....
or "Lets get in the car and have sex baby"...
...I mean come on, really?
It's all about sin and idle stuff that just fades away. It's temporary. It dies. And it's pulling you down while it dies.

Does everyone need to have conviction about listening to secular music? No. I mean when it comes down to it, I don't. But at the same time I know that I can only handle the majority of it in small doses.
It like drains me rather than energizes me, you know? I don't feed that into my heart every second of the day. I get up and sing and listen to stuff that I can sing to God to, because it's how I live. Then I can go sing choir stuff. Then I'm ready to face the world...

Without that vital time of prayer behind closed doors, we're vital to what we face everyday. Whoever you are, wherever you are, I encourage you to make God the first person you talk to when you wake up and the last when you go to bed. It's life changing and it's a big help.


I turn 16 in 2 days.... :) feeling pretty awesome right about now.
Have a great day everyone.

Thanksgiving and Supplication

Adoration
Confession
Thanksgiving
Supplication


"Now it shall come to pass in the latter days
That the mountain of the Lord’s house
Shall be established on the top of the mountains,
And shall be exalted above the hills;
And all nations shall flow to it.
Many people shall come and say,

“Come, and let us go up to the mountain of the LORD,
To the house of the God of Jacob;
He will teach us His ways,
And we shall walk in His paths.”
For out of Zion shall go forth the law,
And the word of the LORD from Jerusalem.
He shall judge between the nations,
And rebuke many people;
They shall beat their swords into plowshares,
And their spears into pruning hooks;
Nation shall not lift up sword against nation,
Neither shall they learn war anymore.

--Isaiah 2:2-4



As those who seek the face of Jesus, we travel slowly up this mountain to see the Lord God most high- the one we desire. We see the light at the top of the hill- the city set upon the hill. Our hearts are confident that at the top of that hill, we will find the glory of God to fulfill our lives. And we are confident that we will find our inner identity there by seeing his plan for us- the plan of a future and a hope in Jeremiah 29:11.

And we find ourselves there... standing at the top of this hill, with God holding us up on his shoulders as we look all around us at the never-ending stretch of landscape full of sights to see- as if we were standing ontop of the world itself, seeing the never ending possibilities God sets before us in life to run after. It's just us and God at the top of the hill. There is no one else there to see the plan he has for us, because that plan is for us and us alone to see. Individually. God shows us the plan when we take the step of faith to climb the hill and make an effort to really know the plan.

I feel like I've been at the top of the hill since March. As if I've lived there- at the top of the hill, looking around and seeing what God wants to be done. I've built my home at the top, and when I see this plan God has for me- an assignment, I pick myself up, pack a bag, and climb down the hill onto the landscape, venturing to find the assignment. I pray after I leave the hill- so much, because I need it. I must stay constant in the presence of God to really live. It's what I've founded my very identity on and I can never abandon it or run from it, but rather run to it when I am weak.
And after finishing the assignment, piece by piece, I climb the mountain again. I climb mount God. To be with the one I love. To be with the one I was created for. Because I was created to love God... and so were you.

We are created to love God and be loved by him.

Climb the mountain. Don't be afraid.
Take a step of faith. Words are valuable, and so are commitments.
But who is worth more in the end?





Tomorrow I'm sharing Thanksgiving with two more people than usual- a boy and his mother in need of love and in need of open arms- a family. I don't know them. And I've never met them. But I can't wait until I do. Because although I don't know them, I love them with all of my heart and welcome them to share Thanksgiving with my family and I. I've prayed for them, and I heard their story. They've been exposed to so much in their lives... but they haven't yet been exposed to real love. The love of Jesus. Agape-Love.
And I can't wait until they see it.
Because it's amazing. :)

Come Set Your Seal Upon Me...

Sometimes I find myself just sitting and thinking upon the beauty of Jesus and dwelling in the secret place.
It's so deep...
It's a pure place, where it's just you and God. Very pure and very intimate. I've been praying a lot lately about Clean Hands and a Pure Heart. One night a few nights ago, God told me "The forerunners in the end times will be the ones with clean hands and pure hearts- and I will call them my holy ones. They will live separately. Differently. And I've called you to be holy. To not look like everyone else."
We were called be innocent. Pure. Like children. To hide our eyes from things we know will hurt us. To stay in the shadow of his wing. To live exposed to the beauty and love of Jesus. And to show it to everyone we come in contact with.


Then the lame shall leap like a deer,
And the tongue of the dumb sing.
For waters shall burst forth in the wilderness,
And streams in the desert.
The parched ground shall become a pool,
And the thirsty land springs of water;
In the habitation of jackals, where each lay,
There shall be grass with reeds and rushes.
A highway shall be there, and a road,
And it shall be called the Highway of Holiness.
The unclean shall not pass over it,
But it shall be for others.
Whoever walks the road, although a fool,
Shall not go astray.

Isaiah 35:6-8


I'm so glad God placed me in Word and Spirit Church. There have been so many shifts and changes since I really stepped up and comitted to live this life for Jesus. I'm excited to see our platform worship team and ministry grow... really excited... God put me here for a reason... put people in my path for a reason... and it's awesome. :)

God, teach me how to love you. Thank you for this week. Thank you for showing me things that I need to know. Thank you for putting me in the paths of others no matter where I go, and thank you that you've put me there to minister your love to them. It's all about you, Jesus. It's not about us. You are the center. You are love. Your grace and mercies are everlasting, and they never fade away. Beauty may fade, but the love and word of God stands strong forever. It's eternal. I want to fix my eyes on the eternal, not the temporal. Thank you for those in my school and in church. Thank you for shaking them awake, for revival and a love awakening. A fire set upon our hearts, so we can dive beneath the surface of who you are. Thank you Jesus.... come set your love as a seal on our hearts. In Jesus Name...

Taking the Initiative

I want to live a life where everyday I can step out without being afraid and doing exactly what God's called me to do, fulfilling it diligently and to the fullest without any drawbacks.



At times more recently than before I've felt as if I had been slightly slacking on Morning Devotion and praying for revival in my school. I was going to it, of course, and continuing to be a leader, but I realized myself becoming more and more distracted with the world instead of doing what I'd always done and what's pushed it more than anything else: spending vital time in prayer behind closed doors.

I felt it slipping slightly as I started becoming more time-consumed with projects, school work, grades, responsibilities, chores and even people. School projects are a hasseland inconvenience to me. So is homework, especially when each teacher drowns you with it as if homework is the only life you have. I'm sorry, but I spend 8 hours a day at school and I'm suppose to spend 8 hours sleeping. I have important things to do with the other 8 hours of my day that don't include dedicating it to school work. But nevertheless, if I want to graduate high school, it must be done unfortunately. I understand how it is to feel that way.

But we've gotta stay in the gap.

All of this chaos is going on and we can't let it distract us. I can't let it distract me... because I know there are people at school that get up every day who aren't saved. And I'm not sure when they'll die, or if they will make it to heaven if they do. But I love them. And I want them to know...

Who may ascend into the hill of the LORD?
Or who may stand in His holy place?
He who has clean hands and a pure heart,
Who has not lifted up his soul to an idol,
Nor sworn deceitfully.
He shall receive blessing from the LORD,
And righteousness from the God of his salvation.
This is Jacob, the generation of those who seek Him,
Who seek Your face.
-Psalm 24:3-6


The other night I was praying and God spoke to my heart... He told me that he was raising up a generation of holiness- of his holy ones; that the Lord's generation, who will see the returning of Jesus, IS the gernation of holiness. And he said that his holy ones must maintain clean hands and a pure heart... They can't run astray. But they have to stay in him- to know what it truly means to live in his heart and to not slow down or step aside. To not run away, but run into his wide open arms. And that's where we find ourselves in.

Capturing the Vision

You are the light of the world... A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden. They do not light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lampstand, so that it gives light to all who are in the house. Let your light shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify God.

[Matthew 5:14-15]




I caught a vision years ago- A desire from God.
I dared to take a step of faith, and asked him to show me his heart. To give me his heart. To have more of him in my heart and less of myself, so that I could leave behind an impact on the people I come around rather than drifting through my life and my walk with God. And he showed me his heart and gave me his vision.

My passion is to see the people of my generation saved and daring to take a step of boldness to share the gospel in school.
To see students praying with eachother.
To see other people like me catching a vision. And catching passion.

Sometimes it's really easy for me, or us, to lose sight of that vision. So much goes on and so many things are just time consuming. Personally I will go nights with very little sleep after doing homework and pushing my priority to spend time in the word first. I've even forgotten to eat sometimes because I have so much school work to catch up with. We even get distracted by people and the fact that they demand our attention after we're already drained from having work to do. It can get tiresome. But there is a discipline line and a priority.
And although so many things are thrown at us,
we know the vision.

The purpose of Acropolis- to make his love and voice be known on our campus. So that students will get saved and so that they will catch a passion and catch a vision.
It looks like darkness consumes light a lot. But when a light comes into a room, the darkness of the room is lit. Therefore the light spreads and is shed on darkness, so that they may have hope. A city on a hill.

Paradagim shift

My trip to the house of prayer was life-changing. And as I come back here I feel as if things are transitioning.

I didn't know what I was going to do my freshman year. It didn't feel like there was anyone else that wanted to make a difference. But I stepped out of my box and I found them. We started a Morning Devotional group. It took off. Now we're changing days so that we have something every day for students to go to. Mondays-Wednesdays is morning devotion (which we're soon changing the name of) Thursdays is Timothy Club and Friday is FCA. Something for students every morning. Opportunity.

Today in church we hit a new place. It was like a river. We had experienced like that in youth group or on Face nights or at conferences, but I'd never seen a movement like that on a Sunday morning service. We encountered God in a new way. It was like he came in and was beckoning his body to draw near unto him, and at the same time people were going. The worship was flowing. It was like a new place opened up for our church. And all I can say is that it's going to keep going. It's going to keep getting bigger. And we're going to expand in areas we're called to...

Auditions for vocalists are coming soon to the church, too. This is new. I'm excited. Opportunity. Knock-knock. :)


Things are changing. School is changing. My church body is changing. Lives are changing.

Change never stops.
It's going to keep getting better. Even if it feels like a downward spiral at times, I'm confident that nothing can separate us from his love. And that's all that matters.

:)

Called to the Sound

I looked up at the building towering just above me. This was it. Small. Insignificant-looking on the outside. But I knew what was inside. This was it.
I entered through the doors from the outside, the cool air blowing in from behind me along with the sounds of people bustling about as they ran about the daily routine duties of campus-life. Warmth and the light from the indoors was comforting. But I wasn’t to stop here. I could hear the music behind the other doors… and it was as if I could feel his presence seeping through the very cracks, leaking into the lobby.
This is it.
For the first time in my entire life, I entered through them. As I stepped over the threshold into the room, the thickness of the atmosphere engulfed me like a wave. It was as if I could feel the very presence of God dwelling here, as a kindling flame in the depths of this prayer room. On-going for 12 years thus far. Non-stop. There was almost a sacred thickness about the room. The music rang into my ears; the prophetic words being proclaimed here.
The room was lit but rather dim. People stood and sat all around the area in chairs that were rowed throughout the room. Flags of the nations lined the back wall along with a world-map replica painted onto the wall itself, where a man was laying his hands on countries with his head lowered. A few people walked up and down the isles in a repetitive manner, some with an open book in their hands and some walking just slowly and empty-handed. One would call it pacing, or even crazy if they didn’t know any better. But the thoughtful look in their eyes as their ears lay attentative to their thoughts and to the music said that their concentration was elsewhere. Some of their mouths moved in prayer, and others didn’t, as if they were listening to God’s audible voice itself when it really came on the inside. Some people sat or stood. Others leaned against the walls…

Some stood on the stage with an instrument in their hands.

I sat down, lowering my backpack beside me and looking around, soaking in the atmosphere carefully. But I couldn’t stay here. I lifted my head to look at what was ahead of me, stood up, and walked toward the front. I was slightly timid, having not been here before. Slightly nervous at moving to the front, but the boldness and desire in me broke fourth. My heart carried me closer and closer to the place I knew I was suppose to be. I stood in the front as a few others did and I watched them, but listened to his voice. I felt the presence of God moving around the room as they played what their hearts told them to. As they spoke the sound of the words they sang into existence. As if every word and chord was meant for more than entertainment to others…
and it was.

This was the place I was suppose to be.
The calling of it rooted me into the ground.
The musicians and the singers pushing the ongoing sounds of heaven. I knew I looked up to them as leaders. But It wasn’t the musicians themselves as people that made up the prayer room.
It wasn’t the instruments or the voices alone.
But it was the fact that the entire place and the entire stage was meant for prophecying and bringing glory to God- singing his songs and playing his heart as a melody.
I knew I was drawn to this place. Here. I knew I belonged here. I prayed, sang, studied, hung out. Then I left, and almost cried leaving it behind. But I knew in my heart that I was called to go back home and take what I’d received from the prayer room and the conference back to give out.
On the inside I knew I’d be back. And I knew one day I’d be one of the prophetic musicians on the stage. Singing his songs and playing his heart as the melody. It’s what he put in me…. And it’s what dwells in my heart.

Working on this!

I know I haven't posted in a while. Things get busy- not writing makes me feel slightly out of kilter but it's alright! I'll be posting pictures from my trip to the House of Prayer soon... God did a lot and is continuing to do so much. :) I'm excited to see what's happening. So many ministry opportunities. In the meantime, I need to keep up with things like my Geometry homework and Mid state music... I'll be posting soon!

Love,
Hannah

An Opening Book; a Turning Story

The past few months have been very life changing for me.

Today I'm leaving to go to International House of Prayer in Kansas City for a Prayer and Prophetic conference. I will honestly say that I'm expecting change. Typically when I go on a youth retreat or something things change- meaning as far as new experiences, what to pray about, what God sets on my heart and things that he puts on the inside of me that he wants me to share with others.
I'm looking forward to this change.
I'm looking forward to being equipped...

and I'm SO looking forward to seeing Matt Gilman and Misty Edwards in person!!! :D


One thing I've realized again is that sometimes following the plan of God isn't easy. I mean nobody said it would be a piece of cake.
But as my father, I trust what he puts in my heart. I need to.
And I know that by going in the direction he leads me will lead me to better places than I can lead myself.
As an inspiring friend told me yesterday, God didn't create us to put the weight of the world or even the weight of our own lives on our shoulders. God made us to trust our lives with him. By going our own way it's as if telling God straight to his face "I don't think you can handle this. I can probably do that better."
But in reality, that isn't the truth at all.
I'm human and I've messed up.
I've disappointed people in ways I never wish I had.
I don't want to. I never want to hurt or disappoint anyone.
I can ask for forgiveness, pray for understanding and comfort, stand up, and keep going.

We've got to learn how to love God, how to love others, and how to love ourselves and see him the way he sees us. It's what we were made for.

God has a plan...
He has timing for everything.
I'm going to have to take a step of faith and trust fall into his arms.
There's so much inside of me that he isn't finished with yet.
But when he's finished...
it'll be great.
That I will promise. And that is a promise I will not break. :)


Love you guys. Have a great week.

Sincerely.

Spontaniety.

The seasons change
like the winds reverse
the stars turn skyward
as they sing the second verse
of the season's change-
how often they repeat
but now there's something in the air
that I cannot find myself to repeat.
I'm not sure exactly where,
but this is going somewhere.
Like the seasons change,
I don't feel ready-
but come the next step
I find myself already steady.
The warmth fades into these
crisp nights,
When the cold rushes in
sweeping across past the lights.
I close my eyes
and
I want to be safe wrapped
in someone's arms,
listening to their heartbeat,
protected-
here I know I'm safe.
The cold fades away into a
warm MidSummer Night's Dream
laying beneath the sky
whispering on a dream
these warm nights fade into the
summer rain,
summer rain fades into the
quickly fading sunset;
It's coming around again.

It was a God-Thing. (The Wreck)

Yesterday morning I was sitting in my room when I got a phone call from my friend Miranda. She told me that on the way to a competition, our school marching band was in a bus wreck. An SUV had swerved into the lane of one of the buses, causing a head-on collision with the bus.

My heart dropped.

I heard her quite down as a man's voice in the background was giving instructions for everyone to call their parents and notify them of the incident.

She explained to me that only a few students had gotten injured; however the bus driver had broken both of her legs and the man that was driving the car was instantly killed.

Later it was said on one of the websites of the local news channel that the man had a heart condition and possibly had a heart attack behind the wheel although they aren't exactly sure what caused him to swerve.

It was also said that if the bus driver would have swerved away from the car rather than just taking it head on, the bus could have flipped over and the students could have gotten injured. If not killed...


Once in a life time chance.

In an instant it's as if you're looking at the borderline between life and death.
In an instant they could have all died. People I'm very close to although I may not be a marcher.
The bus could have blown up if the car hit the gas tank.
It could have flipped.
Miranda's parents could have died instead if they wouldn't have stopped somewhere before the collision having been driving in front of the bus.



One life was lost. Few injured.

THAT was a miracle.

I don't think it was his will for the man behind the wheel of the SUV to die, because it isn't God's will for people to die. He doesn't kill people.
But I strongly believe that God saved those kids even if one life was lost.


Today around 3 pm the Marching Band students gathered in the parking lot of the high school to pray for the family of the man who died and to pray for the injured students, their families and for future protection, security, etc.




These things can be traumatizing but it can bring people closer together.

I'm glad everyone else is okay. Please keep the man's family and the bus driver in your prayers.

I love you guys. <3

http://www.wsmv.com/story/15595807/students-pull-together-for-band-involved-in-deadly-crash

The Trust Fall

There is SO much going on this week...

Wednesday morning is See You At The Pole. Students from our school will gather around the flag pole to pray with one another. I've been encouraging some of my friends to also get a couple songs together to lead worship for it. The school Variety show is Thursday evening. This week is also homecoming week, which means the football game is Friday and the home coming dance is afterward. I'm still looking for a date although I don't HAVE to have one...

While these things sound fun they can get stressful.

God's been teaching me how to do the trust fall with him, and not only him but with other people. As a person, I can't just take everyone on by myself and handle it all perfectly, and sometimes I've found myself in a place like that.
The truth is that God puts people in our lives for a very important reason.
I can't do everything!
I can't be the hero that saves the day and makes everything happen.
I'm only one person.

Even the bible says in Matthew 18:20 that when 2 or more gather in his name that he is there with then and that it will be done unto them.

Not that you can't pray for something and receive it on your own. But how much more effective will something be with more than one person working together to make it happen?

We've got to learn to trust the people he's placed in our lives for a reason, especially when it comes to moving together and ministering to others.
Sometimes it can be hard.
Maybe the other person will not do what they're suppose to do the way you think is right.
But your point of view may not always be the best either.
It would be awful boring if we all thought the same way, you know?


Recently as I've been getting used to my Sophomore year, making new friends, I've been watching the trust fall happen to some of my other friends and peers...
And they trust fall with boys.
(or girls, if you're a guy reading this.)
This is a generation full of trust falls...

I've wondered if there was anyone out there I could metaphorically trust fall with that would catch me and take care of me.
(Although I have a lot of time left.)

I know there are plenty of faithful, loyal guys that are just friends that would catch me and bring me back to full standing.
Some guys will catch you but leave you on the ground and walk away.
Some guys will leave just as you're about to fall, you turn around and see them walking off. It hurts for a little bit to think that you'd trusted them enough to almost fall into their arms. But you're glad you didn't. Or else you would have fallen to the ground.
This has happened to me.

Upon looking for what I desire in any relationship of any kind, I want someone who I can trust fall with. And one where they will always be faithful to catch me and bring me back up as I do the same for them. It's important in a friendship, or any relationship for that matter.



God will never let you fall when you trust fall with him.

But the question is
Will you trust him?

Come and Take Your Place...

God, I pray that you take your place in the center of our hearts.

Be the center of our lives.

Open our eyes so that we aren't looking for love in all of the wrong places. Open our ears so we can hear your voice that gives us careful instruction in every step of what to do.

Because when it all comes down to the end, at the very end of the day, we ask ourselves
Did I learn to love today?



Servant-hood is a form of love. When people see you sacrificing real time, real money and your life for something else, it shows the love and passion you have.

Some people think "They have to be stupid to sacrifice that much money and that much time for something like that." or maybe "They all have to be senseless. Look at them standing in the middle of the school-yard praying. Don't they realize that everyone is making fun of them?"

What will you do to serve?
What will you do to show your love for God and passion for Jesus?
What will you risk for your passion to reach other people because you care about their eternity?
How far are you willing to run? Or how much time are you willing to sacrifice praying for other people and standing in the gap for them?

We were made to serve.
But we were made to love and be loved.

We weren't made to hurt one another or cause pain to one another. We were made to lift one another up- to be iron sharpening iron.

Recently after attending our morning devotion group we've been talking a lot about persecution, being close to God and being close to those who stand in Christ. It doesn't mean not being close to those who don't believe- they need friends and prayer, too.
But are we going to choose to suffer through persecution for what we love? Are we going to choose what we say around one another and be the people that has iron sharpening iron?
My friends in this morning devotion group and other Christian students throughout the campus are inspiring. Maybe they don't realize it. But taking the stand for Christ and living a life of love and servanthood IS inspiring. And it's awesome seeing people do that.

So what if we get persecuted?

I hear,

"Look at what's happening around you...
People are waking up.
Because you guys prayed.
You guys took a stand.
You guys follow through with the plans I have for you.
And now they can experience the same love we share because you shared."


Now I have friends that are Iron sharpening Iron at school.
They help me throughout every day. They encourage me to keep going.
:)

That part of you on the Inside

Yesterday after school I was laying in bed and thinking to myself.

Things now are not how they were two months ago. Or six months ago.

During the summer we have so much free time (even while we can be busy). We have extra time to think, breathe, and without being in school every day on a schedule and routine and in classes learning something new, we tend to find ourselves. That person on the inside that really matters and that voice on the inside that isn't getting drowned out by everyone elses' words or by the things we face every day being in high school or being around the world.
High school stops shaping us for about two months.

And we have some free time to let other things shape us.

Like friends, family, and new experiences like trips.



For a while after entering back into school, I started forgetting myself after learning so much this summer.

I joined the raider team and I have other new classes.

Everything on top of everything is very time consuming.
But I thought to myself "Is any of this even who I am? Do I enjoy this? Or am I doing it for everyone's approval?"

I even questioned myself, "Where did I go? Where did that person who likes sitting outside in the fall leaves in the cooling sun with a jacket on reading a good book go?"
I thought "Where did the person who could be perfectly content doing something they enjoy because they enjoy it even if they're alone?"
Like sitting down and writing a song or playing an instrument.
Taking pictures.
Running around in the woods.

It's as if I lost myself for a little while trying to please others.
And in the mean time while letting everyone else shape me I lost sight of that childhood that I lose bit by bit every day.

But I found it again.

We're all at that point sometime or another.

And we can all find it again, though it may be a bit dusty.
Because it lives in your heart.

Equilibrium.

This past month while it's been very fun and hectic, getting back into the swing of school and surrounding myself with new people. Other students and I have been getting together Morning Devotion and things the school can do to help spread the word. This is GREAT and has had so much progression. I'm glad this is getting done and I'm happy on the inside knowing that things that have been prayed out are happening.

However, I've taken a notice to something after praying about it and experiencing it.
At the same time, while these wonderful things are happening, I have to remind myself to do things that will keep me spiritually refreshed while I'm busy. And also the truth is this- no matter what happens, the devil will always try to find a way to attack the things you're doing for other people and for God.

When people are getting saved, hearing the word and when lives are being changed for the better, he doesn't like it.
And he tries to stop it by using the same strategies over and over again.

How do I know it? It's obvious just by the things that happen everyday.

Recently this year I've faced a lot of things that I've never faced as much before as now, and I will admit then and there it's distracted me some.

People and schedules tend to be the worst distraction when you let everything you do get out of hand. With growth in the word and in God comes responsibility, and with being busy with the temporal things we do everyday it's easy to sometimes neglect prayer, God and your heart although you prioritize it.

There will always be an equilibrium. The difficult thing can be to find it and keep it constant.

Further into my sophomore year.

This year has taken its unique twists and turns thus far!
Some of this year has seemed to have read straight out of A MidSummer Night's Dream by William Shakespeare (which we're ironically reading in my English class at the moment)... (Not really straight out of the book, but it makes sense.) It's like another Shakespeare book. Interesting and nothing I've ever really experienced before until now. You'd think your Sophomore there was some love chemical released in the air. Cupid squirting his love juice on everyone's eyes so that the first person they meet they become infatuated with.
Everyone is talking about it...
Including me...
I've discovered a very awkward aspect of myself.
I think I'm more awkward this year than I was last year...
it's rather awkward.
The truth is I have no dating experience at all. Seriously. I "dated" one person in 6th grade and one person in 7th, and both of those things happened in less than a week. I've never kissed a guy. I don't even think I've held hands with one as much as I'd like to some day. I've had a couple crushes, but I guess while everyone else was into dating and who likes who I just... really wasn't. I'd love to have that special person like everyone else seems to. It looks like a lot of fun to have someone that close of a friend in general. I don't know when exactly the time will be right or anything like that. I guess I'll just let things fall into place as they may and continue doing what I'm doing as in what's right and not let it consume my thoughts too much...

I don't have any of the same people in my classes this year. A few people, but not really. I'm glad because it's giving me an opportunity to meet new people (which I have) and I like it. I love meeting new people! And I can adapt to change quickly but don't always like it... something I will have to get used to...



I've been praying about where I belong lately. As in if what I'm doing in high school is lining up with what will benefit me for my future... I realize that some of the things I decided to do this year may not impact my future and it has me concerned and sometimes has me wishing I had done something else... but maybe it can and will have a future effect. Mental determination and strength is what I'll be learning as far as I see. And that does have an effect.


Tomorrow I will be leading worship with the Word and Spirit Church Kiddies and teaching them a lesson with the other leaders. :)

Hope everyone has a great week!

A Pair of Hands Can Tell a Story [A Poem]

I look at these hands and say
they tell a story.
More so I wonder,
Do they tell my story?
Do these hands recite the story
of my heart?
Or do they recite a fiction
that really isn't mine?
Are these markings
from what I love doing?
Are these creases, occasional scars or bends
from following my calling?
I hear the melody in the air
and run my fingers across the keys,
across the sheets,
across the strings,
across the air,
a heart ready to create,
a pair of hands ready to make
something worth knowing,
something worth hearing.
Something my heart is foretelling.
His hands had cuts and a hole in each palm
yet he layed hands on, healing thousands
and was told he was wrong
for doing it, but he kept going, going without stopping
because he knew it was his job, his heart,
his calling
to known and be made known
his father's heart; voice.

I desire my hands to recite
my calling
to make music, to write of freedom,
to tell the story of the one I live for,
to lay hands on the sick and pray that they recover
to tread the journey of life, to find and discover
to use for what's good, to do what's right,
to do what I'm called to
to follow my dream,
to follow his dream.

[9/10/11]

Called To Play.

I remember times these past two years there were climaxes I had of feeling very musically discouraged. In middle school band I was so used to being the top student and the only one that cared to practice and cared to get better. I strived to play well.

When entering high school my freshman year my self esteem dropped as I tried reading and playing the music we had to play in Concert band on the first day. I felt so lost. I didn't even know half of the notes or half of what I was playing, meanwhile there were several other flute players (another thing I wasn't used to) that played so much better than me.

The beginning of high school was an exciting experience but difficult all the while. Most of the time I wasn't even at peace in my heart and I was so stressed out and worried about every little thing. I felt like a tiny spec under a microscope compared to the rest of the band who were mostly members of the marching band, and who seemed to play at their best all the time.

I practiced, but I remember thinking to myself "Why am I even doing this?" I saw how well everyone else played and it made me want to shut my flute in its case, walk away and never come back. All the flutes I ever had were school-owned since we couldn't afford one. I felt like just another "non-marcher" in the band.
In my second semester I'd achieved 2nd chair flute in concert band, which sent my hopes up for a while, but even after this, I remember thinking to myself I'll never measure up to people like first chair players no matter how hard I try.
Band just became a daily routine.
I'd go in and sit down.
I would mess up, stumbling over notes.
I felt like an idiot messing up my scales and misreading some notes or playing simple rhythms incorrectly.

Things turned rather gray at that point.

The beginning of this year I was put in Wind Ensamble, which is an assortment of some of the more advanced instrument players at our school, typically grades 10-12. I remember dancing around after reading on my schedule that I had been put in W.E and it put hope in me. I can get better- I will get better.

A few nights ago I got my flute out to practice my mid-state and chair placement music. I thought a couple times I know exactly how this will turn out. I will practice it all wrong, get scared in front of my band teacher. I won't play the rhythms right. But I knew I needed to practice.

I pulled out my flute and before I warmed up, I thought of something I liked to do.
I turned on the song "To Worship you I live" by Israel Houghton and began listening to the song, then started playing by ear. After this the song "Come and Let your Presence" by Tim Reimherr came on.

Come and let your presence fill our praise, fill our praise.
Come and let your presence fill this place...
for you are the one we want to meet
Jesus shine through all the praises that we sing...

It's all for you,
here we are, here we are...

In the moment I played this and the other song it was like I was reminded where my heart belonged.

I belong with music.
I am a musician and this is my instrument.
Maybe I can play all kinds of things by ear, but this is the flute and this was my first instrument. If I have a heart for music and don't strive to master music, including striving to master the flute and the instruments that I choose, then where will it lead me? No where. Maybe not everyone in the world is called to play, but I know in my heart that God has called me and that I'M called to play music.

I'm not called to look at other people and say "Oh, they're so much better than me! Shotuldn't I just quit now?" I'm called to strive and follow through with MY passion- he very passion God's placed on the inside of me! It's my very dream to run with this passion, my very heart to play music, to glorify him through it, and to lead others to do the same.

It was like God told me right there in my heart...

"You know what? Some guy could be first chair trumpet and he's not following the path I called him to... but you're in the back section of the flutes and you're following through with what I called you to. Who is being obedient? Why are you doing this- Why are you playing music and why do you sing? I CALLED YOU. Stop looking at everyone else and look at the gifts, talents and passion that I put inside of your heart!!! Look at what I did to your ears and when I set in front of you. Run after your passion with endurance!"


This is the truth, and
This is my identity.
Unless I do what he's called me to now,
I won't have a future.
Unless I sing now, I won't be able to do what I'm called to do at the House of Prayer in Kansas City one day.
Unless I study and play music now, I won't achieve my dream.
Most of all, I won't achieve his plan.
And I live every day to do just that.

I live to worship him. I live to worship him by writing, and I live to worship him by singing and playing.

This is my calling.
I'm called to play.
I'm called to listen.
I'm called to sing.

And I'm called to lead, glorifying his name through every note.





Lowest Place by Laura Hacket during the IHOPU student awakening.... this is an amazing song... currently working on playing the piano part of this...

Pray, Prophesy.

Today after church I went back to my sister's house and we pulled IHOP's fascinate conference up online and connected it to the T.V and listened to the worship and sermon until our prayer group met that evening... talk about encountering God in your own living room!

Jon Thurlow and a worship team was singing the music and we just sang along and let the presence of God saturate the living room, then Misty Edwards began talking about our generation prophesying through sound, and God raising up the young musicians and people who work with media/sound techs.

I had listened to this sermon the DAY I left for Kid's Camp, where I'd spend a week ministering to children and helping lead worship in the evening. Even so, hearing it again it stirred my heart and opened a lot of thinking doors for me. This evening at prayer we began reaching higher places in prayer. I'd never seen a place like this before. Our church body is ascending and the pace is picking up twice the speed in half the time, as we prayed about many months ago! This is totally awesome!


I follow Claire McClean's blog, One Passion One Devotion , and she frequently says that she's thankful for and loves her house group. I agree- I'm thankful for my prayer group too!!!! (and the many that meet at different times in the Word and Spirit Church body). Sometimes it seems like there's hardly anyone there and sometimes it seems like there's more people than usual but God always moves in miraculous ways and we leave knowing things were being shaken and moved in the spirit.



At this stand point, I believe a lot of prophecies spiritually concerning Israel are being shaken.
I can't even describe it.

It's just awesome...


"Beat your plowshares into swords and your pruning hooks into spears.
Let the weakling say, "I am strong!"
Assemble and come, all you nations,
and gather together all around.
Cause your mighty ones to go down there, O Lord.
Let the nations be wakened and come up to the valley of Jehoshaphat,
for there I will sit to judge all the surrounding nations.
Put in the sickle, for the Harvest is ripe.
Come, go down, for the winepress is full- the vats overflow, for their wickedness is great.
Multitudes- Multitudes in the valley of decision!"

--Joel 3:10-14



We read this passage the week before last at our Sunday prayer meeting and SINCE then our prayer meetings have gone sky high- higher than "usual" as we climb, as my sister Angie likes to say, Mount God. :) A week before our Wednesday night youth sessions have gone sky high.

The harvest is ripe! The harvest of souls is coming- passion for Jesus and passion of the harvest is fueling the hearts of our body!

Not only that, but these prayer groups and clubs at school are out of the sky!!! Fellowship of Christian Athletes (FCA), Timothy Club and the Morning Devotional group have all asked if I'd get involved and come and speak/help lead each. I'm so excited! This is what I prayed for over a year ago! God is SO raising up the students passionate for him and it's a blessing! The harvest is ripe and stuff is happening. :)

Pitter, Patter ... [edited]

...I felt my heart leap and sing,
pitter, patter
but I check in my head
and something wants to know the matter.
I keep myself
in check,
making sure
my head is clear and
things are right...
one,
two,
three,
check.

You gave me a smile today,
your eyes were bright,
and your expression captivating,
an expression I'd never seen before,
but all I could do was smile back;
pitter, patter
"He probably thinks you're a geek"
pitter, patter
Maybe, maybe not...
Oh, what's the matter?
Still, there's the constant
pitter, patter
I wonder if he'd ever feel the same way...
pitter patter
the phrase itself is so cliche.
Part of me says he wouldn't,
but the other part says maybe in some way
Does he know, should he know?
Am I the only one who's heart begins to race?
pitter, patter
No, not right now,
pitter, patter
Focus on the moment
pitter, patter
I want his friendship
above anything else.

I chase my God
with all of my heart,
loving and pursuing him,
living a lifestyle of glorifying him.
Pursuing him above all else.
Does he do the same?
Does he run and endure
eternity's race?
Is he full of perseverance
to seek his face?
I wonder if he likes to hold hands...
Wait, stop...
Check.
1,2,3,
breathe, now focus... go.

I wanna be the friend that
focuses on walking in the light of God's love,
being who I am in Christ,
being who God created me to be,
the one who seeks the kingdom first,
seek his love first,
God's love first;
It's best to always
keep in check.


I see him once again
and we stand and talk again,
pitter, patter,
while my young mind is still working
to figure out
what about this clatter...

Pitter, patter.....

Prophesying through sound.

The piano keys have captured my heart...

I'm almost positive this is one of the things I want to do in the future when I go to be a worship leader/ musician at the House of Prayer...

of course this and other instruments yet to come.

Music is quite enjoyable... you can never find anyone in the world that absolutely despises music, as I've said before. End of story.

Sounds have captured us all, because God created music and sounds to glorify him and to prophesy, as he's created us to do the same thing with our lives and voices.



Music is VERY prophetic.
People can prophesy the word of God on an instrument. Anyone who says that one can't is a liar. It's IN the worship. When I close my eyes and find chords on the piano that I never knew existed, or feel the sound of the flute being lifted to him, and I'm glorifying the father with every note, every harmony and with each sound, I KNOW he created music to be prophetic, and I know he wants me to prophesy him by playing.




I really want to be taught properly how to play the piano and guitar and how to sing, then it will be easier to play. Sometimes it's frustrating being unable to read piano music, but I use my ears, my mind and I put my heart into it as for now.
I've seen people at times hit the keys trying to make a song and they can't play it, or they try to harmonize a note but it doesn't work out and I simply wonder why their ears can't hear that the sound is incorrect. (Then again, this is probably the same thing as others wondering why I can't instantly solve division problems in my head.)

I remember when I was younger hearing the sound of a lawn mower or car and humming back the sound it was making. For real, people wonder- what kind of kid does that? I have friends that have told me they're the same way- and it's a gift that God puts in them. It's hearing and prophesying through sound.

Some churches just don't allow instruments because they believe it's a "distraction" to the glory of God. In some churches it is if the musicians are up there just to perform a song and go off the stage. I was in a youth service one time where they had seemed to just be playing a song on their instruments rather than having actual worship and it was the MOST awkward feeling I'd ever had. They weren't glorifying God on their instruments like they could have been- they were performing for people. Everyone stood around like it was a concert. I was thoroughly embarrassed, unsure of how to act, so I just stood and sang along with the words I knew.

This is why there is a HUGE difference between actually worshiping God with an instrument & singing, and just standing up there just playing along. Without the love and power of God in music, you're just making pointless noise that echoes into the vapor of this life.

Not all churches are like that. Music was made to glorify him, and sin has perverted music today with people who like to sing about sin and just throw it out there for money. Personally, I don't think secular, or non-christian music, is bad. I listen to it, and a lot of Christians I know do it, too. But is there a limit to what you're feeding into yourself?
Yes.
Music is powerful.
If I sit around all day listening to Lil' Wayne rap about wanting to have sex and get high all day, and I walk around singing those words and confessing that with my mouth, what am I gonna think about?

And who am I NOT thinking about?

Case proven.


God has a plan for each of us. He's created arts to glorify him- dance, song, music, art, writing, pictures, acting, ballet- all of it. He's created people to go out into the nations and preach the gospel across the world away from their homes. He's created people to sit in an office and be talented to talk on the phone and be a secretary. Maybe it's someones talent or calling to be a garbage man or a truck driver. Who knows? How would they impact eternity by what they do?

What is your calling? And how are you called to prophesy?

{Fire and Rain}

"Gos·pel

noun /ˈgäspəl/

1. A Teaching or Revelation of Christ
2. Good News"


As I was coming to a newly began morning devotional bible study/prayer group on Tuesday morning, I remember walking toward the annex building pavilion. And right before my eyes I remember blinking and seeing three boys gathered, one with a bible talking to the others.
In that moment I felt my heart give a leap and a tug.
This is what I prayed for all of last year.
This IS what I saw.

When I was praying for revival to come to our generation and high school- for young people my age to have a passion for Jesus rise up on the inside of them... I saw this.

The past month has been a river of life rushing around all aspects of the spirit.

Prophetic voice was give at our prayer group Sunday night... I can't even describe the magnificence of exactly what happened that evening.
But all I can say is that spiritually,
this is a new place.
And we're on the ascension.

This Wednesday and Last Wednesday at our youth group, worship has ended with us crying out to Jesus in prayer and intercession and supplication. Our WEDNESDAY NIGHTS have been like, if not better than, some of our On Fire Youth Face Nights we hold for a long time one Saturday night a month. We've really met and encountered God's love, fire and RAW presence. Our youth group isn't asleep. They're awake and alive.

God answers prayer.
This is it.
It's happening.
And revival and the gospel are like fire... they spread. :)

Manifestations

http://wakeupthenormallife.blogspot.com/2011/04/prayer-sunday-was-so-thick.html


I posted this blog a while back, and as you scroll more toward the bottom, it talks about dreams I began having of things of prayer manifesting and the holy spirit coming upon people...

Two of the boys that I dreamt of encountering God have encountered him and haven't been the same since then.
Just between the time I had those dreams and now.

The dream about the boy with the bugs being cast away from him and him falling down in a prayer meeting that had broken out is now in church and passionately devoted to God. When I talk to him, he said that he'd rededicated his life to the lord, was back in church and that I was one of the people who inspired him to do so.
This immediately brought me back to the time, six months before, that I had him on my heart to pray for strongly, and I remember asking my prayer group to lift him up in prayer and the time that I lay in my room on my face, and in the youth room at church later, praying for him and for him to have a love encounter with the true, living God and for God to heal his heart...

No one can ever deny the existence of a living, loving God when prayer like that manifests before your very eyes. When you see someone who was in the depths rise up on wings as eagles and run back to Jesus out of the mess they were entangled in.

One thing I've learned as an intercessor is that sometimes while interceding for someone or for a group of people you can feel some of the things they are feeling or going through... and I remember while praying for this person it was like all I could see and hear was this empty void of darkness. It was scary. And it made me want to cry out for him. To stand in the gap between him and God.

I'm a servant. I WANT to stand in the gap.

Because the reward of seeing them return to Jesus is priceless.

And I wouldn't trade it for any treasure in this world.


The dream about having a prayer meeting with a group of people- I remember praying with the one boy and the holy spirit came upon him, and the girl beside him fell over. When I invited him to IHOP's Onething conference the exact same thing that happened in the dream happened there. But the girl in the dream was someone we knew from school that I met a month after having that dream.

The boy in the dream did encounter God. And this is his story.

http://blake-highschoollife.blogspot.com/2011/05/god-cosuming-me.html

Changed life.

And the girl and I talked and she asked me if I could pray for her. She absolutely loves Jesus and God has a big future for her...


Prayers have been manifesting all year.

This IS the year of Heaven on Earth.

Seeing a guy at my church that had run from prayer for a couple years return and lead a prayer meeting at youth camp was a manifestation.
Seeing the captive set free and cutters rededicate their lives to God and be set free from bondage at youth camp was a prayer manifestation.
Seeing revival rise up in my school and students desiring Jesus IS a prayer manifestation.

And it will only get better.

Teenage Love, Infatuations, and so on.

I've thought about what I was going to write about. I actually just had this to post on my heart not even 20 minutes ago as I was doing laundry. (Things like this happen frequently, lol.)


Lately I've been learning some discipline on where the boundary line is for crushes, and when that can start getting out of hand.

I've had a crush for several months now. I believe this is the longest lasting crush I've had, actually.... And The guy is amazing! He has a heart in pursuit of Jesus and he has a great personality with many attributes that I appreciate.

But is there a boundary line?





Truth...


God is the ultimate source of love. He created love, he IS love. Love's definition is him sending himself as a human, or his son, Jesus, to take on the sins of the world so that he could have a loving and intimate relationship with us. He wants us and desires us as people.

But so often we just ignore that fact in pursuit of what we think is love.

To be honest, I'd rather have the true, defined love of God in my life than the love of any man on the planet.


If you're a Christian who is in hot pursuit of Jesus and you end up liking a person that isn't... don't go for a relationship with that person.
Think you can change them?
You really can't.
God can.
You can pray for them and be their friend.
But if you try to date them and reveal that real part of you to them, they will pull you down.
And before you know it, you'll be in a miserable relationship that you didn't expect...


Damon Thompson from the Ramp once said something like this-

"You know how you find who you should marry? Run as hard and fast as you can after the kingdom of God and seek his face. And in that race look and see who's running next to you. Marry them."

This is one of my favorite quotes from him... and it's so true!

It's as simple as this: if we are desiring Jesus and in this race seeking his face and we stumble upon a guy who may or may not love Jesus and he isn't RUNNING and desiring God as much as you are, it isn't for that time.
Don't date him.
If you're a Christian and they aren't then you really shouldn't be dating them anyways unless you want to get pulled away from God.
The bible says in 2 Corinthians 6:14 "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?"
You can't expect to date or marry someone who doesn't love Jesus and not get dragged down or pulled behind. You reveal one of the most intimate sides of you to a person you marry and in some cases date, and if you aren't revealing that part of you as a person (personality wise, not sexually) then you don't really like them as much as you think.

There is a difference between love and infatuation.

You know the guy you've liked for a few weeks? And he's really cute and has a nice personality and he likes to flirt and he sits next to you in history class and you just really want to date him and ask him out?

INFATUATION.

People in church. Listen to me.

Don't get distracted and get off course from what God wants you to do over one, single, person.

Church people, listen to me. For real.

"Oh but in church he jumps during the fast songs and raises his hands during the slow songs and he reads her bible all the time!"

But the real question is, does he REALLY love God just because he does that stuff?
Maybe or maybe not, You've only seen the surface.
When you really get to know him, maybe that isn't who he is at all. Maybe after church he does home and has sex with multiple girls and gets high and goes out and steals and cheats...





I have more but I don't feel like posting it.


So really, what should I do about this crush I have?

I have a lot ahead of me this year. I have honors classes, church responsibilities, I need to get a car, therefore a job eventually, and I want to help take lead in Christian Organizations at my school this year. I want to embrace those things. There are a lot of people that will get saved and revival is coming.

I don't want a guy I like to distract me from that. Because now isn't the right time.

And that isn't being ridiculous, that's me telling the truth.
Because this is what happens to girls, or guys, vice versa-
guys consume their thoughts, emotions, minds and everything becomes a blurr.
They ignore God.
They can't hear him speaking to their hearts because this thickening net of infatuation is choking his voice from their spiritual ears.
A distraction, believe it or not.
They start getting frustrated, hurt and out of kilter.
However, it won't be a distraction if it's the right time.
And I know now isn't the right time. Not yet for me anyway.

Maybe he'll like me one day. Maybe we'll go off and get married one day or maybe not, who knows? I don't know if he likes me let alone not knowing if I like him.

But I've decided that right now, it really doesn't matter.

I do what I need to do now.

We'll see what happens when the right time comes about.

And when the right time does come about, all will be well and our relationship will glorify God and lift him up, whoever that person may be.


Hope this helped you.

Good night :)

Character Matters- Kids Camp 2011

A view from the other end of the Spectrum...

This is DEFINITELY what's been going on!


This past week I attended and Junior Counseled Kid's Camp 2011 (Hosted by Word&Spirit church here in Murfreesboro) and it was a large combination of word-of-faith churches around the area.
I didn't even realize how much work was put into making these camps happen! I remember being a camper myself not so long ago when I was about 8 and 9 years old. Now it was an opportunity to get a look on the other end of the spectrum!

We stayed at the same campsite- this time we had a couple cabins rented out for the little ones, an assembly hall, and the bunk lodge for the older children. There were about 85 some kids between the ages of 6 and 12 all together with 25 or so adults/teenagers for 5 days... imagine how busy this could be!



The Theme was Character Matters! [Not quite sure who made that sign but whoever it was spelled character wrong.....]


During the day, the kids were able to do many activities, some like this...



A few girls painting




Looking for Bugs to catch


They were also able to swim, learn about camping, pond fish, horseback ride, and much more.




Dinner Time was BUSY!



They loved getting around the camp site by sitting on the back of Brother Keith's trailer hitch.



The older girls were ready to nail some boys with water balloons for Water Day



Ready, set, fire!



In the evenings it went something like this...



Angie, Theo, Bekah and I enjoyed singing and leading worship. The kids loved it, too. Lots of Jesus Culture and Eddie James!

We had a lot of fun leading worship through song and dance. The kids enjoyed getting hyped up for Jesus too. I remember how THICK his presence was in the evenings before worship! :) Children were set FREE from bondage, saved and filled with the holy spirit. It was an amazing move of God. Much prayer was manifested!



Our young men of God worshiping through dance. ^^^




Our worship and dance team with some junior counselors- having the honor of being the forerunners to start an official kids and youth worship team!





Kids Camp 2011 Group Picture^^




I really was able to learn a lot from this myself. Staying in the girl's bunk lodge, I worked with girls ages 10-12 and I learned a lot about how to talk to them and lead them. I helped explain the holy spirit and prayer to them and I was able to help them with their memory verses each day. Each girl was important to me and I continually pray that they further themselves in him even at such a young age. I pray that God would call them up into their places of prayer and worship and that they find their identities in him- that they will NEVER be the same because of how God encountered them at this camp!
On the last night our youth leader Mrs. Blonda called some of the prayer people to the back of the assembly hall in which children who desired the holy spirit and salvation went to be prayed for. I layed hands on a couple of them and some were instantly filled! I encouraged the others that God would put that prayer gift inside of them and that they could all go home and spend time with him in his raw presence... Before services our worship team would pray for the service and that God's true, RAW presence would fill the room and that it would be thick an tangible, And it WAS! The Shekinah glory fell on the place!

He's alive, now I'm alive

A few nights ago I was in my closet and found a folder in my childhood backpack... The following is an excerpt from the folder I had when I was in the 6th grade.


"There are so many thoughts whirling around in my head right now. I don't know where to start. I guess I'll start off here...
Ever since I turned 11, my life became worse than I'd ever imagined before. Mainly ever since I entered 6th grade. We have a group of rejects in my grade... I hang out with them because I'm rejected, too...
Some non-rejects will come up to me and say hi or just be nice or whatever but most of the time it isn't like that. Me, Nicholas Emerton, Ethan Jones, Levi Martin, Ora Mintlow, Savannah Cates and Jase Bumpus... we tend to stay away from other people
We're not completely rejected but we group together...
I'm worried about the future a lot. Like I said in the beginning, since turning 11 everything has changed. When I was younger I was a weird, happy, normal kid. And then I wake up to be this confused, sad, put-down person that everyone hates... It feels like I'm so misunderstood and broken. Nobody loves me.
This is another thing to figure out- there has to be a bigger purpose in life. There are many questions here un-answered, but they can't stay that way. I have to answer them, figure them out on my own... but I can't do it alone. I want God to send me a dream... maybe he will if he's still listening.
I wonder how I'll survive. Most people thing suicide is the answer. I don't think it's the answer but sometimes I wish it could all just end. A lot of people think drugs and sex will fix everything, but it doesn't! There must be another way, and I have to figure it out! I'll go til the world's end to find out why I'm here and if I even have a purpose.
"

Along with this journal page there were old song lyrics I used to listen to and write down. All of this combined sucked me into the past of who I used to be and where I tried to find my identity. I wanted to know who I was. I felt so scared and lost and depressed like nobody loved me, suffering through anxiety and panick attacks and lonliness, but there was something that God himself sparked on the inside of me as a desire to find purpose in life.

My 7th grade year is when I told my sister Angie and Billy "I want to go to church." I didn't know why. I didn't like church. I got bored and thought nobody liked me, but I wanted to go. I was sick of being lonely. I wanted to find other people. I searched for help, for love before it was too late.

It was in that short time that I met or re-acquaintance myself with Jenelle (Solorio) Chandler, Rachel Holbrook, Theo Savoy, Lindsay Frierson, Bruce Somerville, Michael Solorio, Derek Chandler, Bekah Chandler, Cayli Luttrell, Hannah Hazard, Joy Frierson and a few others.
I looked up to teenagers, really admired them, and here I was surrounded by more of them than I ever had been around before! I thought, "If I speak to them they might think I'm weird or might not like me. They might be like the kids in school and pick on me or make fun of me or tell me nobody likes me." I remember my first couple of Wednesdays I would sit by myself because I was afraid to talk to anyone. I felt so awkward and shy that I wanted to hide myself because I thought everyone would hate me.
OH but the LOVE of God on them... it was so thick and tangible. They had something that I so desired. I wanted the love of God. I wanted the holy spirit living on the inside of me. I wanted his presence. I didn't know what it was but I was destined to search to the ends of the earth to find it before I was sucked into the dark void of normality and the mundane lifestyle of broken-ness, hatred and captivity.
I was slowly breaking free, opening up, and was completely set free and filled with the holy spirit at Winter Ramp 2008. I crying out to Jesus. I remember lifting my hands up when everything fell quiet in my mind. I heard the chains break and my spirit soar higher than I'd ever imagined. I felt so pure. I knew I'd never be the same. And I knew I found my purpose in life.
To pursue God and run the race set before me with endurance... and to inspire & ignite others along the way.



To anyone who reads this that was part of the Fore Runner group...
I want to thank you for inspiring me and for loving me when I thought nobody did.
I'll never be the same and I know my purpose is to make his voice known among the earth.
I love On Fire Youth.
I love Word and Spirit Church.
I love my prayer group.
More than they could ever imagine.
It was because of God and because of the love of God they showed to everyone that I was literally transformed from one thing to another.

I remember that Face Night. January 24th, 2009. We had a worship night in the church office for the youth group and other members of the church invited. Not a big group, however not too long and we broke out into an intercession meeting. Billy and Derek prayed for everyone. Cayli gave a testimony. People got drunk in the spirit, rolled in the floor, cried out to Jesus, danced, were filled with the spirit. An Acts prayer meeting.
I remember Lindsay, Theo and Cayli laying hands on me and praying in the spirit, Theo prophecying over me and telling me that the light of God will shine on me wherever I go and people will see it. Manifestations of the holy spirit. Signs and Wonders revealed...

And the same thing happened last month.
Except I was one of the Fore Runners.


This is why I am alive... it's what I live for.


He's Alive, now I'm alive.

Stuck in the Gap.

This is one of the first posts I've posted in a while that is slightly off topic to the rest of my blog. But ah well, here goes nothing!

Sometimes it's just flat out frustrating being stuck between the gap of childhood and adulthood. I'm not complaining, and most of the time it can be fun. But it has it's annoying quirks...

Inconveniences





Propriety.
Adults occasionally expect too much out of us. Like when we make a joke [and I mean jokes as in not perverted or racist or anything like that] we get yelled at because it isn't "proper". First of all, who decided that what was proper? I'm not saying we should be rebellious, but for real. Chill out! Take a joke!

Then there are the times we get yelled at for saying something we didn't mean or when people take things the wrong way and you didn't even do or say anything to them to trigger such a thought!
Foot in mouth disease, we've all had it.
Sometimes there is no excuse as to why someone would say something whether or not they meant it, but there are those times...
Relax. Chill. Give it a break.

I want responsibility and I want respect, but I have to have an image to get it? No thanks!

Who created images anyway? Stereotypes? NOT cool.

Janice and George are close friends so they must be boyfriend and girlfriend or they must like eachother.

Tom is an adult and went into Kim's house by himself, so they must be up to doing things that are no good! Hey, somebody go over there and yell at one of them!

Bob the freshman hangs out with the seniors, therefore he must be the tag-along and he must think he's too good to hang around people his own age.


Boundaries and Limitations.

I suppose if they didn't exist then the world wouldn't make sense... but sometimes they just get too edgy... get anywhere near the boundary and the table is thrown over.
Talk about improper etiquette...

It's either black or white.
Either you're an adult who can handle responsibility or a child who can't.
Either you're potty trained or you're not.
Either you're old enough to be proper, say all of the right things, act all of the right ways, be of the best and most perfect grace and elegance or you're too young to handle anything like that, therefore being dismissed by... well... anyone older than you.

I guess if I want responsibility that's what it will take. I don't like it. In fact, it would much rather be convenient if propriety didn't exist and if... I guess some kinds of adults could just get over themselves and not jump on people for doing what they want to do.
It would also be nice if I could just skip classes I didn't like next year and ignore teachers who get angry easily!

But convenience isn't everything.


Just something to think about.


Have a blessed week guys!

-Hannah Adkins

[Awakening the Normality Factor]